Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Tick of time Part 3

Yes, Ron had chemo yesterday. He talked with someone from OSU today, but the information he recieved sounds a little alarming. It sounds like, as of right now, they have not found cords with enough cells for Ron's transplant. We are still waiting, but this is getting a bit intense! Cords are the last option, from what I understand... maybe they can just keep giving him chemo to keep the cancer down until a match comes up, or something. Maybe he is healed, I don't know... there just HAS to be a reason for this!
Today I am 28. Guess what I got in the mail for my birthday?! A bill. HA! Actually, I have had a pretty good day. I talked with a friend on the phone... got a few Happy Birthday phone calls... made myself a yummy cake... I even sang to myself! HA! I am sooo into big parties... HA! I had to remind my daughter that I am a grown up when she asked about presents... besides, my hubby did buy me a VERY nice gift, but he gave it to me two days early. What more could I ask for? Three lively, beautiful little girls and a thoughtful hubby, a nice home, and a yummy cake! That is a good birthday!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The tick of time Part 2

Ron could not have chemo again yesterday... this time it was not because of platelets, but his white blood count. That should explain the "feeling unwell", because he tends to feel it when his white blood count is too low. They gave him his shot, which raised it up again, and he is ready to go for chemo today.
We are still waiting to hear if there is an umbilical cord match... tick... tick... tick... If I knew how precious these cords were to folks, I think I would have donated my girls' cords to the donor bank. Donating to the bank is free (I believe), however, there are folks who would try to convince you to pay to store your child's cord, but that can be very pricey, and very unlikely that you will ever use it. Just think, I might have thrown away something that could have saved a person's life! If you are going to have a baby, perhaps you can talk with your doctor early on about the possibility of donating it's cord to the world-wide bank. I don't know what kind of preliminary testing is required, but if it is safe and presents no danger to your little one, then it is worth considering. Asking that it goes directly to someone may not work, because it needs to match pretty closely, so giving it to whoever it may match is nice. These have to be from live births, of course, and I imagine your baby needs to be healthy.
Time continues to tick on, just waiting, praying, waiting, hoping, waiting, not knowing, waiting, getting chemo, waiting, crying, waiting, trusting, waiting, working, waiting, ministering, waiting, and looking toward Heaven. This is a real test of patience! Tick, tick, tick...
In the meantime, life must go on... there is work to be done, a family to care for, souls to reach, children to train and play with, and growth to be gained. Tick, tick, tick...
Ron bought me a sweet present yesterday! It actually matched up with one of the things I listed below, and he doesn't usually read my blog... he just knows what I'd like. It hasn't always been that way. When we first got married, gifts were very interesting... I feel like laughing just thinking out it! Marriage has a way of blending two hearts together, and, although we don't always feel rosy toward one another, we are one.
I must confess that I have not been the sweetest Mama and Wife the past few days... my hubby has pointed that out, as has Faith. Faith told me at camp that I wasn't a good Mommy at camp because I yelled at her all the time. So sorry! I feel so touchy... I wish I felt better, but my nerves feel like they are unraveling. I am weary in this waiting thing!
I tried to make up for my grumpy-ness by taking the girls to the park today, then I let them play outside in our little yard while I mowed the grass, but I was overcome by frustration worrying about the baby possibly getting too close to the wading pool or the road, then I saw one daughter hit another, and I stopped the lawn mower (actually, I had to do this many times), and talked very strongly to this child, and now I don't feel nice again. I want to feel nice... are mommies supposed to be nice? Because, I feel like I am constantly saying no, No ,NO! Don't touch that electric outlet, don't play with the CDs, don't push your sister, don't look at me that way- show me a smile, uncross those arms, don't eat with your fingers, don't beg, don't get out more than one toy box at a time, don't stick your tongue out at people, don't cross the road without Mommy, don't talk to strangers if Mommy is not beside you, don't talk with your mouth full, don't complain, don't get out of bed when it is naptime, don't point at people, don't say "I can't" when I know you can do what I have asked you to do, THE PIZZA CUTTER IS NOT A TOY!, don't get in the pool unless Mommy is right there and has given you permission, don't this, don't that... BLA! I need something to say YES to! I feel mean! Yes, we do fun things with our children, but doesn't the no's outweigh the yes's by a great margin? Sigh!
As the time goes tick, tick, tick, my nerves are going snap, snap, snap!
The healing of my heart comes from God's Word and when I take time to REALLY pray (which isn't nearly enough)... I find God's Word alive and refreshing, convicting, and healing. I have been reminded of various Scriptures... some of answered prayers, healings, and hope, and some reminding me that God will be the husband to the widow... so point being made is that whatever happens we have not been abandoned! WE CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES US STRENGTH! Oh, Lord Jesus, give me that strength... touch my mind, body, and emotions! Touch Ron! We NEED You!
Tick... tick... tick...

Monday, July 27, 2009

The tick of time

Ron, the girls, and I went for the weekend to Clinton Camp. I had never been there, and Ron hadn't been there for many years. We saw old friends... I even heard one call me out by my maiden name... It's funny how strange it sounded, although I have only been married for a little over six years!

Ron could not have chemo again on Friday because his platelets were still too low... they are going to try again today. People were really praying for him at Clinton. It seems everyone is praying for him. I remember at Beulah Grove Camp how it seemed everyone was telling us how they were praying for us. It is so incredibly overwhelming to see the love people are showing in prayer! Ron told me to pray for GOD'S will. He hasn't been feeling the greatest, not "throwing up" sick, but just not right.

On another note... this week I get to have a birthday... Somehow, I feel I have lived a lifetime in a few years... but, I am only going to be... can you guess? Yep, I will be 28. Yes, Ron is several years older than me, but life has forced me to "grow up" a bit quickly... and, yes, I do have some gray hair... a sign of wisdom, you know. :-)

I have been asked recently what I wanted for my birthday. Wanted? Hmmm...

Well, here's my birthday list (don't I feel like a big girl?!)

1. A long back massage (been havin' some tension)

2. A sparklin' clean house... been workin' on that a bit this morning... startin' to smell good!

3. A diligent accountability partner to help me loose some serious weight before my next birthday.

4. Continued prayer... that I will be a Godly, respectful, loving, consistant, and strong wife and momma. I plan to give myself in prayer and fasting for the salvation of my children during this year... this is of utmost importance to me.

5. A date (not just a fast meal) with my hubby... maybe a nice long stroll at a park and a picnic. We am extremely picky about babysitters , so that makes it a little tough.

6. Family pictures before Ron goes in the hospital

7. Encouragement... I plan to be homeshooling this year, potty-train Hope, and do some serious Bible and Character-building training this year with my children. I thrive on encouraging words... sounds a little silly, but it is one of my love languages, and I can do my best with showers of encouragement... but, that also means I wither under rude comments... or, the lack of interested friends. Hope that doesn't make me sound like a baby, it is just true.

8. Would like to get that thyriod nodule removed this year... it itches and annoys me. Got insurance to cover that.

9. Might get contacts. Got the prescription, just haven't order the contacts.

10. Peace... that God has everything under control... that everything will be okay.

There, for those who asked for a list, I know it is mostly intangible, but we have everything we need, really.
Okay, my girls have been listening over and over and over to the Victory Trio stories, and I am about to have them memorized... I guess I better change the pace for a bit. (They seem to be taking a liking to the Victory Trio... Faith actually called Penny "Penny Bank" the other day, and I could have died... She promised Faith a surprise one evening, and the next day Faith searched the campground for Penny to get her prize, and a lady brought Faith to Judy, and the prize was some CDs and the girls have been listening to the all day today.)
Well, I had better get going.
Until the next time!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

The return of the Cook family pictures :-)

Although it appears that Faith is swimming, I think she is holding herself up with her hands touching the floor of the lake.
Gasp! Ron Cook has elbows! Ha! (If you don't get that... don't worry about it.)
Muddy baby!
Very swallow area of the lake... obviously!
Yes, she is "swimming" in her good clothes, but it sure was fun (though the water was quite cold!).
I I love this picture of Hope!
They almost look like they are in deep... but they aren't.
Hope played in the water, too, but she has no fear, so we had to watch her very closely.

Watching fireworks

There is an explanation for the strange attire! I didn't bring enough clothes to replace their wet clothing after they were through swimming.














Me

Video of the fun

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Ahhh! Free internet and at my own home!

YAY! This is going to be fun! I can update and everything... FREE!
Well, on for the update...
This has been an emotional past few weeks. It has been so hard. Hard to see my friend, Heather L, at the veiwing of her young husband. Hard to hear about a neighbor of Ron's parents suffer a simular fate. Such unexpected tragedies. And, on a personal level, the calls and meetings that have taken place between Ron and the doctors that keep pointing out that Ron will be cured by no other way than the dreaded allogenous stem-cell transplant... for which they have no adult match... which sends them searching for umbilical cords. Ron must do this... his cancer has the terrible habit of quickly returning, and each time it returns, the chances of a cure takes a dive. He looks good, and is still working and is still involved with ministry... but, he is very aware that time is ticking. We need a miracle. We need a match!
Ron and I had THE TALK the other day, and that was hard. He is such a caring husband and daddy, and is looking to his family's future... and, his. He has thought of the people he will get to be reunited with, if the transplant or cancer takes an ugly twist... the friends and family in Heaven for him to see. Kind of sounds exciting... for him, anyway... for us who are left behind... well, an empty hole. There's no use pretending it isn't a real possiblity at this point. On the other hand, I have felt encouraged by Scriptures... some about healing, about answered prayers, and some about how God can be a husband to the widow... so either way it goes, we are not forsaken! God can heal, God can comfort, and God certainly cares.
The Scriptures have been jumping out at me like you would not believe!!! In Christ alone, there is hope! Can't forget that when you have a child named Hope Christiana... take out the a's and unscramble the words to Hope in Christ! She came to us in a very dark time, reminding us that not all was lost.
You've gotta have Faith, Hope, and Charity :-)
More posts to come... now I want to blog-hop a bit to see what some of you have been up to!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Wow! Another post in a single day!

Everyone clap! Faith struggled in the swimming pool for a while today. She was frightened. She wanted out. But, finally, she caught on, and before it was all said and done today, she was able to swim with just arm floaters! YEAH! And, she had a blast!

Update

Well, we are getting the internet back by the 15th, so I can update things more often. I am sure you all would appreciate so pix pretty soon, and I would like to do that for ya.
My little Faith turned 5 Monday. Tuesday, Hope slept in a toddler bed for the first time. All of the girls are learning new things. Time goes by so fast.
Ron got good news Monday, and bad news Tuesday. The chemo he has been on has been so effective as to show no for sure soft tissue malignancy... praise God! The cancer in his hip is hardly noticible on the PET scan!
Tuesday, we met with the docs in Columbus. NO MATCHES FOR RON! Next option is umbilical cord cells (from live births), they don't have to match as closely as adult cells... no, this has nothing to do with abortion!!! You know we would never consider using cells from that!
But, even that they have to try to match as closely as possible. It is a VERY risky thing to do. His hopital stay would only be about the same length as before (which is different than I have originally thought), but he would have to come home on meds for at least three months. His chances of dying is higher in this transplant... 15%! If three people receiced this transplant, only one would be cured, one would die soon thereafter either from the transplant or cancer returning, and the other would relapse but would hang around for a few years with more chemo or other treatments. Ron's chances of being cured for long is not high according to the docs in Columbus, but they are not God either.
Ron has decided to continue the chemo he is on and see what happens since it has been working. Once you've used a chemo, you can't go back to it... so previous regimens are not an option. Life expectancy without the transplant (according to Columbus, if I understand correctly) sounds like just a few years... like maybe 3.
Well, I have to go, this is not my house and there is alot going on around me. Will update better later!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Ahhh, a blog fix!

I am at my in-laws house, and thought I would give a quick up-date. I would like to share pix, but that will have to wait.
I survived camp last week, and really enjoyed the fellowship. The children had lots of fun. I brought my two neices with me and a teenage girl from church. It was definitely worth going! Wow, the people who told me they were praying for us amazed me!
Ron had a blood transfusion Tuesday, and a PET scan yesterday. The oncologist told Ron to "cross your fingers" about the PET scan results. Of course, we are not superstitious. Ron has had to take several shots due to his white blood count being low. It was better the other day, and his platelets were rebounding, so he didn't have to get platelets. His hemoglobin and red blood count was still declining, so hence the transfusion. His feet have raw-like spots, he had a terrible bout of broncholitis, and he still has a bit of a cough. His mouth got sores, too. He felt rough. This regimen of chemo was not easy on him, but he somehow kept his hair! And, he kept working!!! Incredible!!!
We find out his results of the PET on the 6th... on the day our oldest daughter turns 5! We shall find out if they think they can help him! On the 7th, he is scheduled to meet the transplant doc in Columbus. We are hoping a match is found soon.
Tears are still falling, as the stress of this terrible disease weigh extremely heavy at times... nasty Hodgkin's lymphoma!