If your happy and you know it...

smile.
Jesus is giving me strength today. It is awesome watching my children soak up what they are learning in home-school... in mama style! I am catechising my children. Seriously! I ordered it from Bob Jones, and they have to respond to the Bible Truths verbatim, and Faith is doing it with flying colors!!! We are doing 5 new questions a week. The other subjects I have been using are mostly A Beka... my daughter writes in cursive, can tell time somewhat, and is learning things that many public schools would not teach until 2nd grade... I know because I went to public school from Kindergarten to 12th grade... I remember in high school how some teachers REALLY slacked, allowing us to just watch wretched videos and play cards. Some teachers did excellent jobs, while others had no business "teaching." Well, my daughter is only in kindergarten and is excelling quick! It is not easy to keep up with everything, but I am loving it. I am also teaching them the ABC Bible verses from A Beka... I am so proud of Charity's memorizing them with Faith! She is only 3, but catching on quick! I have been pushing Faith hard because Ron is supposed to go into the hospital soon, and I might have go take time off school while he is in the hospital. She is way ahead now in her work, so we are good to go. I am happy to be my children's teacher!
I am happy, 'cause Jesus met my heart's need last night as I responded to his prompting to go and pray at the alter.
I am happy, 'cause Children's Church went well yesterday morning.
I am happy, 'cause Jesus answered our prayers for Ron's stem cells to come in.
I am happy, 'cause I can trust Jesus.
I am happy, 'cause I am loosing weight again.
I am happy, taking my vitamins, herbs, mineral, anti-oxidants, and exercising, knowing that I am doing a good thing for myself... and, feeling better.
I am happy, because it is well with my soul.
I have mourned so much since Ron's diagnosis nearly 2 years ago, and every relapse brings another wave. His battle has had so many ups and downs, and like life in general, it can be uncertain. There have been times that I wondered if I could possibly handle the stress, pain, and waves of life... but, today, I feel some strength... could it possibly be that YOU are to blame for this sense of strength... could it be that God's people have been lifting us to the Throne and praying for us?! I just know you are! Thank you!!! Thank you so very much! Prayer is powerful... but, only if you are praying to the One True God... and, I know many of you are interceding in prayer for us. It means so much!

cards

If those who who like our address to send Ron a card or an "I'm prayin' for ya" note, would kindly email me, I think that would be the easiest way for me to send out our address. I won't put it on my blog... but, I would be very happy to email it to you. Email us at theroncookfamily@yahoo.com
It may be another 3 weeks, it sounds like, before he will be put in... but, we won't know for sure until that PET on Monday and he meets with the transplant doctor on Tuesday. Once he is in the hospital, then you may send the notes directly there at The James Cancer Center.... I will try to give that address when the time comes.
Yesterday, Ron and I went on a date... alone! Nice! And, today, we had family pictures taken... still have to order the ones we want, but at least, they have been taken! Had them done at Wal-Mart. Say, those are at least two of my birthday wishes! Thank you, Ron! I don't think he realizes he is completing some list! Tonight, we all went to GBS's revival... very good... even with squirming children.
Thank you all for your sweet comments! It means more than you know... one of mine and Ron's love languages are words of affirmation and care... powerful!
I haven't done well on my diet thing the last couple of days... grrr! I really need to do this... it really is important. Sounds petty compared to Ron's cancer... but, preventing a preventable illness is a good idea, don't ya think?! I have to stay well for my children's sake!
Thanks again for praying for us... it is the most powerful thing you can do for us! Perhaps the only thing you can do... the most important... and, that is really what we need more than anything.

BREAKING NEWS

Ron just received word that it appears they have enough cells for his transplant. He has an appointment with his oncologist this afternoon and we'll see when his PET is... I am not sure where and when things will go from there.
This is scary business, and I am not entirely sure it is the best thing to do... but, the oncologists think it is the only way to cure him... but, the risks are HUGE!!! The mortality rate is frightening and the side effects are scary... pray for wisdom, dear friends!!!
The tension here is high... life is in the balance.
Please, pray... Ron is doing so well right now... by that, I mean he is working full-time, and doing lots of stuff... even with some neuropathy... seems strange to think of putting him through this when he is so active. Can't say it thrills him to think of being tortured again.
As you might know, bone marrow tranplants/stem-cell transplants often come right after a patient is given the chemo of chemos! This time the chemo won't be maybe as strong as the last time, but the point will be to actually KILL HIS IMMUNE SYSTEM... really, that is what the goal is... they have to, in order for the body not be attacked or to attack the new incoming cells. You can see why this is a very dangerous this to do... any sickness, and Ron could be in big trouble with not having an immune system. I do encourage visitors so Ron doesn't feel abandoned, but if you have a cold or any symptoms of an illness, please just send a card or balloons... no plants and there are certain food restrictions. There is a chance that you could show up and you will not be able to see him because he is too sick or asleep, and no children are allowed in that area. You have to wash your hands alot. Be prepared that he will not look like the Ron you know. You may be asked to wear a mask and other coverings. Just don't hesitate in letting him know you care. He LOVES cards! He has been saving your cards!!!
Like I said, I don't know when this will take place, but it sounds like they have the cells... should find out more after this oncologist appointment.

Chemotherapy side-effects

While I have known about vomiting, diarrhea, constipation, weight loss, terrible mouth sores, weakness, fatigue, anemia, neutropenia, thrombocytopenia, nausua, hair loss, and all... which Ron has not suffered some of these things too badly except when he had that high-dose chemo treatment... I was taken by surprise in this one side-effect (even though we had received literature about it), and was trying to dismiss it as " just Athlete's Foot"... nice of me, huh, to dismiss what the doctor's tried to tell him... nope, it is much more obvious now... he apparently has CIPP... chemotherapy induced peripheral neuropathy... hope it isn't permanent, cause it sure is causing his feet some real pain! He said he could barely finish work today... he is walking like his feet are raw, but I don't see any real sores... poor guy... he is convinced it will ware off soon, since he just had the last of these chemo treatments that he has been on (guess that they can't give him anymore of this kind). He's a tough guy, but to have "pins and needles" feelings strongly in your feet can be pretty tough! He felt kind-of rough today, so I gave him his Neupogen shot (he thought his white blood count was low)... and, maybe he will feel better tomorrow, but I don't know about those feet.
If you cannot find a run-on sentence in this post, you need to go back and take English 101... it is 11:30pm, so please forgive my increase in grammatical errors.
GOOD NEWS
My dad was back in the hospital again, and had another heart cath, and it came back good this time.
My friend who was sick, seems to be getting well, and hopefully she will be all well soon.
The scary phone call I received a couple of weeks ago seems to have been reversed to a VERY happy note.
My sister and I have been able to have late night chats online and it has been just plain fun!
My daughter,Faith, is doing FANTASTIC in her kindergarten work.
Charity did several somersots by herself today (not sure if that is good... I hope she doesn't hurt herself)
Hope has been enjoying school devotions greatly, because she loves to "sing."
I have been loosing weight... hurry!!! I MAY have lost as much as 8 lbs recently... I have about 51 yet to go... but, I am experiencing excitement here! I will tell you that this weight loss business is tough! I have to exercise ALOT! I can't eat much at all either, unless it is something like celery, tomatoes, or another low calorie veggie or fruit... with which, I feel okay in splurging... but, it is worth it... I can already feel the difference! I am excited, yet nervous, as I step on the scales these days! I got at least one thing I wanted for my birthday... an accountability partner who is also aiming to loose weight. And, then, what Ron bought me for my birthday is definitely helping me to reach this goal, too... Thanks, Ron!
By the way, if anyone out there has had neuropathy of the feet and would like to tell me about something that made their feet feel more comfortable, I would love to hear about it.
I have been a little bit into a book my sis-n-law gave me called "The Hallelujah Diet"... I tried to cut caffeine cold-turkey... ohhhh, that was bad!!! What a headache and sickness! I think I am going to take it slow. Got some food for thought from the book, though... pardon the pun!
Well, that is all for tonight!
Goodnight

In our weakness...He is strong

Perhaps Ron overdid it last week... maybe it's just a side effect of the chemo... maybe he just needs more nutritious meals... maybe he needs more sleep... his counts are a little low, but not where he needs a transfusion, but he has been complaining of weakness... for a few days now... he actually didn't feel like going to church yesterday... but, he went, of course. He seems unusually weak... woke up in the night mumbling something about feeling like he could go to sleep and not ever wake up again! AAAAUGH! But, of course, he was up and at it early this morning with devotions, reading the paper, and getting ready for work. Weakness didn't stop him from going on... but, something seems strange... not sure exactly what is happening. He has chemo again tomorrow, and maybe we'll find out when his next PET scan is.

Faith is doing great in school! She is flying through her work. Doing well with piano, too. Sooo happy for her. We've already had field trips... visiting GBS and we also went to the Air Force Musuem Saturday... Ron went with us... though he didn't feel right... that nagging weakness, unexplainable feeling in his face, and fatigue. Please, pray for him!

Charity has become rather artistic these days... Her art looks a little like this new style of art... very different... Faith's drawings are of people, houses, flowers, animals, stuff like that... concrete... Charity has been doing some sort of abstract drawings. Hope just likes to scribble on anything and everything nearby... herself included! I suspect Charity had help with the above picture... she sat with someone else in church, so maybe they drew it and she colored it.

I am doing fine! My leg is asleep right now, and that is very uncomfortable... guess I better get up and moving!

Hope you enjoy the recent pictures!

Feeling adventurous

When I say "adventurous" you might think I did one of my old before-I-was-married-and-had-children stunts... like flying off to New Mexico to live with people I didn't even know, or walking to GBS from Cincinnati State up Liberty Street alone (that was crazy!), or allowing myself to float down a river to look like I needed help during a canoe trip with GBS (I was not in the canoe!) just so the GBS boys would come and rescue me (weird, I know!), or finding a new crush during my first mission's trip (to Taiwan)... that crush was RON! and riding on mopeds with Asian people I didn't even know. I say an adventure yesterday was driving over an hour... perhaps a couple of hours... to somewhere to visit people who didn't even know I was coming and my husband didn't know I was going. I surprised a few folk at GBS... then, I drive more, and totally surprised one of my best friend in the world, who is also my sister-in-law, Rebecca! I had not been to their home for over a year, and the last time I saw her was at a family reunion nearly a year ago! We talk often on the phone, but rarely get to see each other. Wes, my brother, wasn't home, so we just let our many children scream and play and enjoy each other! She served us supper, we did back rubs, she served me yummy coffee (It was awesome!), and really had a blast!!! She was so surprised that when she answered the door she was speachless for a few seconds! It was soooo worth the trip! Even if I did get lost going there. Ron was busy last evening, so I knew he wouldn't be home for supper anyway, so I was good there. He actually seemed okay with my taking off like that! He is a good hubby! He knows that is very rare of me, and he knows I am not going to end up in California or something.
Anyway, it has been a wild week! House cleaning yesterday morning, then Faith's piano lession, then off to the Cinci area. Faith has started kindergarten, we did the tent thing, Ron has been working, and working, and working, and doing ministry... some days I hardly see him!, and it has just been a busy week... I am thinking a trip to the Wright Pat Airforce Museum is another adventure I might try soon (it is REALLY close to my house!), and I know the girls would love it! I know, because they point over there often when we drive by.
I got up early this morning and wrote Ron a love letter and had devotions with him (went back to bed when he left for work), and I have been realizing more what a great guy I have been given to be a help meet to... Thank You, Jesus! He is top notch! A real man! There is noone like Ron Cook! Just ask around! His style of ministering, preaching, fathering, working, and everything is just unique! He is outspoken and confident, but reliable, gentle, faithful, and giving. He is strong, and he knows it... I think he likes to show off for me! (Perhaps it stems from his 4th in the State wrestling days and football training... he just doesn't give up!) I am so glad he is still going strong... cancer or no cancer! That is my man, and I am proud of him.
Just thought I would brag for a moment since it's my blog and I can do that!
Alright, I had better get busy! Have a good one!

Updates

Ron had chemo yesterday. He is supposed to have 1 more, then a PET scan... see if things still look good. He returned to his regular job today, since the schools will soon begin.

Faith started kindergarten Monday. She has reading, writing, arithmatic, piano, social studies, character building, Scripture memorization, Home Ec (mommy's version), etc. We recently discussed fire safety... read some books, etc., and playground safety (a DVD), and I am excited about what she is learning. She is even trying to learn some new activities (guess you could call it PE) such as jump roping... she has a way to go to master them, but she is pretty determined on the jump rope thing. Funny thing is that, Charity is learning right along beside her... just ask her to sing the vowel song... she can tell you their short vowel sounds and she is learning the Scriptures, too... pretty proud of that three year old! Hope is, well, she has mastered how to make messes in record timing! She climbs, she wrecks, she pulls curtains off the wall, she is dangerous, she is very noisey, and she is so cute... but, my house is not!

I did something fun last night with my girls. I put a tent up outside our home and we stayed in it for maybe a couple of hours, till Faithy wanted to go in the house to be with her daddy. We had a lot of fun, though, singing songs, telling stories, looking for stars (the tent can be seen through at the top), and listening to that bug light kill some serious amounts of insects last night! Ask Charity, she was so happy about all the fun she had.

I have been reading this book about this man who had ALS, and their family's struggle. Unfortunately, this family was strongly atheistic and the language in the book is very foul! So, I do not recommend the book to just anyone. But, I learned some things. I learned how utterly angry a hurting family can become at people who seemingly abandoned them after their father (who was a physician) discovered that he had ALS. It was sad, especially since they did not believe in God, and were even blasphemous. I thought, what hopelessness! I mean, yeah, the guy kept working and researching and had a brilliant mind, but for what?! Temporary living! But, I could symphathize a little with some of their pain. It is a terrible disease! It was sad reading how quickly he had deteriated. He worked hard to slow the process. Swam alot. But, the sad part was their sense of being put in an "outside" catagory, abandoned by those frightened by the terror of the disease. People who didn't know how to express themselves or how to support... perhaps, they didn't even want to support, didn't want to be bothered with this crippling paralosis. I compared our situation with theirs... though the diseases are very different. I found that especially at the beginning, that folks (especially Christians) were highly supportive! We had cards, notes, phone calls, meals, and even gifts... although, I did have some friends who seemingly fell through the cracks... they neither call, nor write, and definitely not visit, and rarely ever ask, except in passing (as a curtousy, I suppose) how we are doing... if I want them to know, I must go out of my way to tell them... I feel like a burden to be borne. Overall, though, I felt love and compassion! Except in the visiting area... guess people are just so busy. You know why I felt love and compassion from so many, many, many people?! It was because of Jesus! Faith is what linked us to so many other hearts! People pray for us! Some of them pray for us every day! Incredible! The one most important part of life this family I read about had rejected. How sad!

I have been having nightmares. Seems so real. Stress has a way of doing that sometimes. I just keep wondering... keep praying... it is always there, will Ron be okay, will he be healed or cured... but, we are not a family full of hopelessness. We have Jesus, and we TRUST Him... it is up to Him. He knows best! I am frightened by grief... I have had a taste of it, and it is a bitter taste, hard to swallow, and I wonder if it would choke me.

Well, responsibility calls, so I need to go! Got a diaper to change, a meal to prepare, baths to give, school to teach, dishes to wash, laundry to do, floors to vacuum, and I hope to have it all done in 3 1/2 hours, so Ron can have an orderly home when he gets back from work. Whew! Here goes super-woman!

Conquering depression

Let's have a talk, what do you say?

There is an ugly word that many people do not want to admit happens to good, strong Christian folks. It is spelled D-E-P-R-E-S-S-I-O-N.

I am an expert, I think... No, I do not have a counsellor's license, but I have hands-on experience.

Let's talk about it... the Sarah's version!

What are some signs of depression?

Lack of appetite or binging, fatigue or insomnia, lack of interest in usually enjoyable activities, withdrawal, a sense of hopelessness or lack of direction, lack of care of oneself, mood swings, weepiness, etc. These are a few of my not so favorite things.

What could cause it?

Well, there are many things that could cause a person to suffer through depression. Depression may be acute or chronic. Severe or mild.
Maybe a loved one's death, a loss of a job, financial struggles, sickness of a loved one or yourself, abuse (physical, verbal, sexual, etc.), neglect, hormonal imbalances, your health (physically, emotionally, socially, mentally, or spiritually), your relationship with God, guilt, divorce (yours or your parents), disappointment (promises broken, failures in academics, etc,), lack of genuine friendships, etc.

What can one do to heal?

Well, let me share with you some things that I have found very helpful.
1. Don't hide in your pain and dark secrets. If you have some hurt that is causing you depression, you need to talk to someone about it. You need to find a friend or counsellor who is trustworthy and supportive and willing to really listen to talk with. Tell them about your secret or pain... ask them to pray with you, and by all means, don't expect them to be God... they cannot take away your pain, but talking about it is very helpful... especially if you have suicidal tendencies. If your thoughts dwell here, get help quickly!

2. Make sure your relationship with God is clear. Have you willfully sinned? Repent. Are you avoiding daily devotional time with Jesus... you better quickly get back to spending time with Him... You see, there is real help for you in His Word and through prayer... promises... beautiful promises! There are those in the Bible who struggled for one reason or another with depression, and you can learn a lot from them. Are you obeying something God has asked you to do? Just do it!

3. When was the last time you had a good physical exam? Are you sick? Are you eating right? Are you overweight? Are you getting enough sleep? Are you exercising? I will tell you... a good workout is amazing in getting the endorphins going? When was the last time you were with friends or family who made you laugh? Do you laugh at yourself? Laughter is VERY good! I have felt much, much better after some good exercise, and my moods can be affected by the type of food I eat... maybe you could check out what foods you have been eating and if you feel better with a change.

4. Have you been procrastinating something that you know needs done? Think how good you would feel about yourself if you got that job done!

5. Are you living for this world or for eternity? Want purpose? Do something today that could make a difference in eternity... witness to someone, offer a meal to a homeless person, call someone who hasn't been to church for a while and see what is going on, teach your children a timeless lesson, hand out some tracts in love, spend some time praying for someone besides yourself, drive by that troubled teenagers home and tell them that you care about them and are praying for them, write a get-well note to someone whose sick, meet a promise you made to someone, hug and hold and kiss your children, tell your parents you love and honor and respect them, give your hubby something to look forward to when he gets home, pay a visit to a local nursing home, visit that cousin of yours in jail, look past your pain and see the hurt in others and do to them what you would want done to you in that circumstance.... say "I am sorry" to someone you've hurt.

6. Make a list of 100 things you have to be thankful for. (Thanks, Sonja, for this tip!) Very healthy! There is so much to be thankful for... even if everything around you is looking bleak.

7. Forgive!!! You cannot get well if you are holding bitterness.

8. Don't isolate yourself... get with friends occasionally, get outside and into the sun!

9. Keep your surroundings orderly, yet enjoyable... don't make a big deal out of something trivial.

10. Eat a healthy meal tonight, take a nice hot bubble bath, and get a good 9 hours of sleep tonight, and most likely, you will feel better in the morning. (Night time often is a time the devil likes to make tired people feel hopeless... a night's rest will often do the trick!)

I have experienced several of the things that would cause one to have a depression problem... but, I if I don't let it go... I will be a most miserable woman. I know, I have been there! I am still learning. My new thing is exercise, and it has been incredible! Highly recommend it... sweating and increased heart rate is required... just think, you can burn calories and lift your mood and help yourself sleep better tonight... could be fun if you got your family involved... could make it a game, if you'd like. I personally have been using it as a time to be away and get a "break."

For what it is worth, this has been tips by Sarah :-)

Prep week for school

This week I am trying to get some big jobs done, because I would like to start Faith's kindergarten work. Thanks to my friend, Amy S, I now have a good start on the biggest job on the list... that pile in my room! Yes, that pile is still there, but now it is considerably shrunken. Although Amy may always think of me as being a slob now, I am very thankful for her help.... Thanks, Amy! I worked on it some more today, and hope that it will be non-existant by Saturday night... and, to have the girls' room organized! Whew, that would be awesome!
My thyroid blood test came back normal again... that's good, I guess.
The children are all healthy and doing well... I have been working today on some attitude issues.
Dear friends, I want you to know that God has been showering Scriptures on me. Some encouraging and uplifting and some are convicting, but always just what I need!
Let me share some of them with you.
One day, I was particularly concerned about my mental/emotional statis... really. You see, I have been a little overstressed... hmmm... my dad was in the hospital again and had to have another heart cath and a couple of more stints, one of my best friends is ill and it could be very serious, and I got a scary phone call Sunday about another friend. I always have Ron's situation running through my mind, and I have been feeling isolated... when I do talk to friends, I tend to talk way too much. I can suck the life out of a friend by all of my endless chatter. I have these handy panic attacks that is very frightening... could be a little too much caffeine, too. Anyway, I thought that maybe I was loosing my mind... it doesn't help to listen to the news of all the terrible things going on around the world. Will I ever recover?
I opened my Bible, and there it was... just what I needed!
Psalm 43
The whole chapter was great, but check out that last verse!
"Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God."
Beautiful!
In thought of my laziness and yucky attitude lately, I opened my Bible last night, and there was that Proverbs 31! Whew... it is a chapter stuffed full of rich teachings of a virtuous woman! Certainly not lazy, and that part about her mouth... whew! RICH and convicting!
Another day, it was that Phillipians 4. Wow... do you know the Bible teaches that you should be a person known for being self-controlled? Hmmm... when people think of me, do they think... ahhh, that Sarah is self-controlled, she knows when to stop, she knows when to go... she has her body under subjection? Wow, then that part about rejoicing all the time, and thinking true and pure and lovely thoughts... whew! And, being content! Ouch! Ahhh, and the beautiful verse reminding us that God will supply all of our needs... he is rich! Awesome!
It has been on my heart for a long time, the need to fast and pray, but I can't seems to get my desires under subjection. I also am a quitter... it gets tough, and I want to run away! That is why my room was so messy, why I haven't done my best with being consistant with the children, and why I don't go the extra mile to "do... good" to my husband... I mean, I know it would bless him if I got up earlier every morning and pack a yummy lunch and put a sweet note inside, have devotions with him, and keep the house clean and the children happy and well cared for... but, it takes alot of work, and I have been just plain lazy. It would mean so much to him if I took better care of my weight issue... but, that takes work and careful self-control.
The other day, I was moping around, questing God why He didn't do this or that, and the thought came to me that "Now Sarah knows what it is like when someone doesn't keep their end of the promise... SARAH hasn't been faithful to her tasks and promises!" God, of course, keeps His promises, but I haven't been doing my part. Sigh.
Am I wanting the benefits of Christ without the responsibilities of being Christ's? Is it all about me? It is supposed to be all about Christ.
Have I become a baby needing nursed all over again? I can't say that I understand everything that has happened in my life... why at every turn, it seems something painful has occured, but I do know that this is not our home, and soon, very soon, we shall all be in our eternal homes... reminding me that I need to live for eternity... Forever with Jesus... our hope and our joy!
Lord, help me to live what You have taught me! Help me not to just stirred, but let me be changed!

Until next time... we press on!