Rough nights

Ron had another painful night last night. He had tried to cut back on his pain meds, but it turned out badly. He finally took the pills last night, got out of bed, ate, chatted with me, showered, and finally the medicine kicked in. This spot in his hip has caused him many a rough night. It hurts during the day now, too. He can't cross his legs to tie his shoes without pain. He must lift his leg with his hands if he wants to put on the emegency break on the van, etc.
He still has energy and works. He does not act sick, just that nagging pain in the hip, leg, knee, and lower back.
We are waiting for the results of the bone marrow biopsy and the stress muga. Ron received word from the bone marrow transplant folks that it probably won't be for another 3 months until he can get his transplant. They have to see if he responds to this chemo that he is about to receive here, to see if the high-dose chemo and allogenous stem-cell transplant is even a possiblity.
Saturday, we went to a Walk-for-Life, to show our support to the American Cancer Society, etc, and because a luminaray was to be purchased in honor of Ron, along with many other "in honors" and "in memories" through Kisses for a Cure. Ron's dad came, as well as his sister and her children. We talked with some of his nurses from the radiation offices, and they gave us goodies... bags, blanky, and treats for the girls. It was a neat idea, but I found the whole ordeal a little sad. Cancer is still a bad word, and is still very scary to me. But, alot of people can actually be "cured" (put in remission for life)... and, that is good news. Ron is just a tough case... not too tough for God, though. Whatever God desires.
I can hardly think of anything else lately, except "what am I going to do if or when IT happens?" My children, oh, my children! Ron and I haved talked about this, and through tears he expressed his thoughts. Our daughters grief would be terrible to see. I haven't much talked with the girls about this possibility... I want their lives to just be normal as long as possible... play, work, eat, receive discipline and instruction, and laugh as much as normal as possible. I am a little disfunctional right now myself... very easily provoked (I know this is NOT a Christian attitude), house is a mess, and I am needing a big cup of coffee and needing to tackle this place, which I think I shall do here in a few minutes.
I had errands and appointments to run yesterday and had to decorate the children's church, and that was exhausting in itself, but it is going to look awesome! I still have more to do in there, but I need to do housework and lessons with the children still... and, that supper I promised to my hubby of fish sticks (a fav of hubby's), corn on the cob (kid's fav), and baked potatoes (something I love!).
I also need to mow my grass, but I can't find the key to my shed lock! Then, the porch awning (sp?) needs washed, the flower and tomato garden weeded, the children bathed, etc!
It looks like the folks whose grass I mow did the job without me... I know I usually do it on Mondays, and I honestly tried to get it done, but they did not answer their door when I came to their house, and I couldn't get in my shed to use my lawnmower! Grrr! There went my little extra spending money. Oh, well, we don't need it that bad anyway.
Thanks to those who are offering to help with child care when Ron is in the hospital. If you are a holiness Christian lady, with no criminal background, with a cheery personality, not known for any type of abuse, who won't stuff my children full of pop and junk food, who will have sympathy with confused children, who won't allow my children to have bad behaviour and attitudes, then, I am open for an interview! HA! I had excellent baby-sitters last time, and they weren't too far away... either near Columbus or Dayton! They tried to help the children have fun and keep their minds off of the hard thing that was happening in their lives... they did a fabulous job! I had some really great people who were very good influences to my children (and, believe me, I am picky!!!), and I could relax knowing that they were in very, good hands, being loved, and I could love on my sick hubby in the hospital. I was sooo very thankful!
Well, I had better get going... got alot to do today. Not sure when hubby will start chemo this week, and I would like to have the house in order, so hubby can rest comfortably in a clean and organized home, as much as possible.