I think I just need to go to bed earlier.

Well, that last post was quite a downer... I still don't feel great, but I think I have an idea what is wrong with me... I need to go to sleep before 1am or later, no caffeine after 5pm, get fresh air and exercise some... but, definitely sleep is good. I have got to get a good night's sleep!
It was such an encouragement when I went to my mailbox and found two sweet cards in there... the kind words and humor contained within them was worth more than the $1000 that Ron was joking about being in the mailbox. One card was from Ron's work place with many signatures and comments. Another was from someone who had met my children while Ron was in the hospital, and it was so sweet.
I hope Youth Challenge is going great... this is the third year we have not been able to go. I think there was a good sized group going from our church this year... I am glad.
I won't be able to teach Children's Church for a while to avoid germs... sounds silly unless you are living with a person who has a severally compromised immune system. I am not normally a germ freak, but this is an exceptional situation.
By the way, medical friends... is it metaport or mediport? I never said I was a fantastic speller. Well, I think I might steal a little nap here while two of my children are sleeping. Sweet dreams.

recovery

Well, it would be a lie to say that the last few days have been wonderful. It has been emotionally stressful here. I am trying so hard, but sometimes I feel like a failure to keep up and be nice at the same time. I wish I could say that our home has been inspirational, but it hasn't. Yes, I have worked hard on keeping the house kept up, the laundry clean and the dishes done, the doornobs and other often-handled areas disinfected, make meals, ask Ron if he is taking his meds, check his skin for signs of bleeding, and lecturing him on "don't do that... I will take care of that... don't touch that, it is germy... bla...bla...bla", and getting on my own nerves.
Our "new to us" vehicle kicked the bucket while we were at the bank the other day... someone has to be with Ron at all times, and he wants to ride along on errands anyway...but, he doesn't always where his mask like he should... but, I am tired of trying to act like a "mama" to him. We had to have the vehicle towed and someone at our church took our family home in their truck. How humbling is that!
Then, what would you know, but that the old "Betsy" van came up with a problem when we were going to get groceries from Aldi's today. Ron found the problem and repaired the vehicle himself as sick as his body is, and he is doing mechanical work!!! He said it actually gave him energy and a sense of getting a job done. Well, fortunately, that one was a non-expensive repair... a belt that was so worn that it had chunks missing out of it! Thank You, Jesus, for protecting us as it could have broken at any time. We were late to church... which we sit in the balcony anyway, because Ron cannot be around crowds, so we didn't barge into the sanctuary late, just went upstairs to the Cook family "isolation" seating. We are trying to keep our children from sicknesses as well, for obvious reasons. So, I hope noone is offended if we do not shake hands much... it is a life/death type of thing for us right now, as Ron's WBC is at a really low point... they stopped the Nupogen when he left the hospital, so down went the white blood cells. Then, his platelets were down to a dangerous 9 yesterday, so he got a platelet transfusion. His gums bled the other day from simply eating pretzels... gotta watch those crunchy foods from now on. His hemoglobin is almost to the point of a required transfusion of red blood cells. He is on so many meds and I just hope he can keep up with it all.
On top of homeschooling, caring for Ron, and the regular daily tasks of being a wife and mommy, Hope has decided to demand to be potty-trained NOW! She cries and begs and whines to use the "po-ee" (potty, without the t's). She has wet in the potty several times already. Whenever the other girls mention needing to go to the potty, she wails to go, too. Nice timing, my precious little one! She has suddenly started talking, too! In fact, it is hard to get her to stop! She knows several words now, and likes to say them over and over, and loudly... even in church! I was excited when she started talking a couple of weeks ago, but now, I find myself trying to hush her.
Faith is asking so many questions still, and has matured so much mentally, it is just amazing... and so has Charity. I think Faith has a tooth that has some give to it and I wouldn't be too surprised if she doesn't loose her first tooth in the next couple of months. How time flies!
If I seem a little stressed, it is because I am a little stressed... please, bear with me. I am also upset with myself for gaining back weight. It is such a struggle right now to even have a desire to try to loose weight. Sigh.
Well, I really ought to post pictures soon. Ron looks different without his hair again... Charity likes to point out that he has no hair now. He is still loosing stubs of hair all over the pillows cases... which I am trying to wash often.
His central line is doing well so far... no infections there... it is one of those things that make me cringe to think about the possibity that it could get yanked out by accident... have heard of that happening to people and it makes me want to shiver! He still has that metaport that he has had for maybe almost two years, I think, but it doesn't draw back... that fact disturbs the James staff. A metaport is under the skin and it accessed by a needle... looks like a circular lump on the chest... no dangly lines. But, a central line has a big line hanging out... just part of the furniture when one goes through what Ron has. He's had this before, but I think the last time it might have had only two thingys at the end, but this time it has three ("thingys" should really be added to the medical terminology, don't you think?).
Well, that is an aweful lot of personal info on here, which I hope does not embarrass Ron, but it might give you an idea of what life is post-transplant of the allogenous (sp?) stem-cell.... umbilical cord, that is.
Signing off...
Trying to press on...

They let him come home!!!

He is here! Praise God! He is home!

Happy Birthday, Ronald Steven Ray Cook!

He's still in the hospital because his counts have been dropping, but the doctors are talking today like he just might get out early next week IF his counts stay where they are right now or go the right direction, but if they continue to drop, well, I might have to keep holding the fort back home. He is doing so well right now, and the doc even told us today that our children may come to visit outside of the buildings! Not sure if we will take him up on it, but it sure was nice to hear!
My man is 34 years old today. I am here at the hospital with him right now, but it has been since last Friday since I had seen him. I brought his presents today, and yesterday, his mom brought a cake.
I have been been at home with doing some school with Faith, rearranging a few rooms, cleaning, and playing games with the girls... and, of course, talking on the phone to several friends and family members. Faithy was concerned that daddy might not recognize his home when he got back because I changed it so much. It is amazing the things I found under the furniture when I moved them! Today, I washed lots of laundry... sure smells good!
I am so excited about getting Ron home early next week if his counts are good... he is so bored sometimes here, but he has been listening to holinessmusic.com and it has really cheered him! Sometimes I think he listens to it from morning till night just about. What a nice resource for him to plug into!
I forgot to tell y'all that the other day I got a surprise when in walked my good friend from somewhere south of here :-) into our church and got right on the piano like she had never gone anywhere. It was so nice to see you, Martha C! It was so special to get to visit with ya!
Right now, my children are being babysat at our house this evening by their dear piano teacher, Darla Stroup. What a special treat this is... I was starting to cry because I really wanted to see Ron on his birthday, but some of favorite babysitters were already scheduled for something today, and the possibilities seemed to be dwindling, when Darla gladly offered! It was really a sacrifice, because she lives quite a ways away from my house... but, we feel very comfortable with her being with the children... and, are so thankful. Thanks, Darla!
I am really struggling driving lately, I get soooo tired, that it is a real battle. I am developing a real sympathy for single mommies... it is so hard to keep up! I am in need of good solid night's sleep... but, I just have too much work to do! So, I often stay up really late working just to keep my head above it all and to get the house ready for Ron's return... sigh... I am so tired even right now... I am nervous about even driving home.
Pray for me, will ya?!
Until next time, we press on!

Maybe, next week

Some are saying that he might get out next week. Sounds good to me. His counts are almost the same today as it was yesterday. Was hoping to get out Monday, but it will likely be after that.
We were told today that the last time he had a stem-cell transplant, the sickness and stuff because it was such a major blast, was here in the hospital... this time, the watch will be more after he goes home... watching for symptoms of graft versus host. He has done fantastic here... getting skinny, but he is doing fine... okay, he isn't really skinny... he is a big guy still, just thinner. I think he's cute... of course, huh?

Hospital Restrictions

If you are not immediate family, you are not really allowed to visit anymore... in any part of the hospitals here... our children are no longer allowed to visit any part of the hospital. You know, the flu scare... bla.
Ron is doing very well so far. Been eating some and exercising some. Doing fine.
Will be nice when he gets to come home! Hoping for an early discharge... some say that could actually happen since he is doing so very well. He has even been told he's the most low maintanance person up here. Praise God!

still not to the bottom

His WBC count is at 0.7 this morning, so it still has not hit the rock bottom... it is supposed to go down to like 0.1, so the toughest part is still coming. He still doesn't need any platelet or RBC transfusions... they are low, but not to where they are ready to give him blood products.
He is still eating tomato soup, at least, and crackers, and he is drinking water and orange Gatorade, and a little bit of fruit. Not much else seems to sound good to him. At least he is eating, and so far no mouth sores or fevers or vomiting! Very good start, I should say!
I had a rough sleep here last night, because someone coded on this floor in the other pod or whatever you call it. I checked on Ron and he was sleeping like a brick. I called his name and got up to touch him to be sure he was okay (like a mommy does to a new-born baby), and the guy just kept sleeping. I think it was the Fenagren (sp?). When there is a code blue, I think the whole hospital is put on alert... it is loudly announced over the intercom... even if it was in the Ross Heart Hospital, which there was one there last night too, right after the one on the 3rd floor of the James Cancer Hospital... it was making me a nervous wreck, but they have to do that so wherever the needed staff might be, they will know they need to get going.
Unless something comes up, I might not get to spend another night with Ron until Thursday next week, but I do plan to make frequent trips up here for visits. I plan to bring the girls once or twice up here next week to see their daddy, they didn't get to see him at all this week.
The children are doing well, and you would not believe the questions Faith is asking me. One example is: "Mommy, does God love sinners that are in Hell?" Other questions have been equally if not more complicated than that! Her wheels are really turning these days! Sometimes I just tell her we'll have to ask Daddy, because I don't know some of the answers to her questions. She has become quite huggy, too. She is will just come up to me and squeeze me tight, and say omething like, "I just love you soooooo much. I love daddy, too. And, I love Jesus." Awww! I love her, too!
Charity is still stuck to her gum addiction... I need to break that before she gets a cavity. She is professional at whining, and I cannot stand whining! She is learning alot lately, and she is very good at memorizing. She is a character and can crack me up sometimes! I bought the girl a "Barrel of Monkeys" the other day, and they had fun learning to play that game... they cheat some though... their coordination isn't quite good enough, it seems to play it without using both hands to connect those monkeys... we'll get it.
Hope is funny. We were watching a video together about a little kitten and a puppy, and the kitten was playing with a crab and the crab grabbed the kitten's nose, and Hope was horrified. She was like "nooo!" and started crying a fearful cry. You have to understand that Hope doesn't talk a whole lot yet, and so sometimes I don't realize how much she understands about her surroundings, so I was taken by surprise when she understood that the kitten was getting hurt. She is starting to talk more now, though. When she potties in her diaper, and I change it, you might hear her say, "Ewww, guck!" or when I am done, she kindly says "kank oo" (thank you). Dog is "gog" and I think she calls both Faithy and Charity "tee-tee" unless you purposely ask her to say "Faith", then she might say some like "fate." Maybe it has something to do with her being the youngest child that I haven't spent more time teaching her how to talk... I know, that is a bad mommy, I really ought to start reading to her picture books, after all, in a couple of months, she will be two, and I would like her to get caught up a little. When Ron gets out of the hospital, I would like to get her started with potty training. Believe it or not, Faith takes off Hope's diaper sometimes and sits her on the toilet... I think I like that! If my 5 year old wants to help potty-train the baby, more power to her! I could use the extra hands... she is actually able to help me out in alot of ways! She helps with housecleaning, changing wet diapers, and making sure the bathroom door stays shut (so baby doesn't play in commode). She is also very good at making messes, too.
I made them homemade play-dough the other day, and they really liked that, but Hope threw a bunch on the floor... which wouldn't be such a big deal, except my kitchen floor is carpeted... maybe someday I will change that... it is pretty new carpet, but, with small children, it is not the most convenient thing. I would like to get into playing more games with them on a regular basis, which gives me an idea for Christmas presents. They are getting to the age (well, at least the two older ones) that I think they would really enjoy that fun, bonding time.
I have been taking turns some nights with sleeping with the girls... they really like it when it is their turn to sleep in Mommy's bed... although Hope is so wiggly and squirmy that the last time I allowed her to sleep with me, I could hardly sleep... the other two usually do very well. We'll have to stop this ritual probably once Ron gets home, but I figured it might be helpful to the children at this time when their little worlds are different, to let them know I want them around and that I love them. And, I guess it also helps me not to feel so lonely, too... they are like little teddy bears.
Well, that is enough of that... there is an update on our family... the good, funny, sad, and scary.
We press on!

Now, comes the hard part...

In the next couple of days, his immune system will die and then, then he is supposed to rebound with his new cells. His counts will fall, and that time can make you very miserable. There are alot of sick people on this floor. I have heard Ron praying for other patients as he sat in his room listening to them vomit.
He did so well yesterday, that his nurse was shocked. I know it must be because of all the people who are praying for him. He ate some, walked a mile on the treadmill, and did some push-ups (the nurses weren't happy about the push-ups, because if his platelets are too low, and he got injured, he could bleed badly), and we had "church" together last night. If you were close to his room, you would have likely heard some of it, as we sang together, read the Scriptures, and prayed. It was really nice to be with him.
This morning he is tired. He is doing well so far. He has had some nausea, but has not vomited yet. They are watching him closely... he was really cold this morning and the nurse was afraid he was getting a fever, but so far, so good. I know you guys were praying, because he is doing so well.
Okay, I am feeling a little proud. You know that verse about it not being good for man to be alone? Well, I think that has proven true here at the hospital. I felt kind-of like when I was able to be with him, it motavated him... got him up and busy... and, the more he can keep the food and fluids down and exercise, the better! That, his counts rebounding, and lack of illnesses are what will help him get out of here sooner. He has it in his mind that he wants to get out of here in two weeks... some have acted like that is nearly impossible, but Ron is holding to that hope. I am hoping that, too. I am also hoping that he won't have to stay up here in an apartment for 6-8 weeks afterward like alot of people do. I want to take him home with me, and just make the trip a couple of times a week for his appointments.
The doctor asked if I can drive fast... well, yeah, I guess, don't want a ticket, though.
I have to leave Ron today, but I plan to come back tomorrow night. I so appreciate those who are helping take good care of my precious little ones so I can be with Ron some during this.
Well, I guess I best be going... thanks again for your prayers.
We press on!
Psalm 91... check it out!

Transplant Day Today!

Greetings family, friends, and lurkers,
I am here at The James... I was able to stay the night with Ron. This morning is the transplant. Some folk are a little confused. This is NOT a surgery, or at least there is no cutting going on. The only cutting that was involved was last week when they put the central line in. What is happening today is the stem cells from two umbilical cords/placentas are being put through that tube that he has received all that chemo, etc, and they begin to take over. Perhaps you are more familiar with the sister transplant... the bone marrow transplant... that should give you maybe a more familiar term to know what Ron is doing here.
In case you are wondering about the children and me. Well, we've been having quite the adventure! If it could go wrong, it did. If it could go right, it did. Our church has bought us groceries, paid for gas, and I even had one friend stay all night with us the other night... that was nice! My microwave killed over, but the church gave me one of the microwaves they had in their basement... it works well. One of my vans broke down, but the Manley's rescued me... ha, I didn't put it in park before I tried to restart it... that is why it wouldn't start. I keep loosing things, and I am feeling like part of my brain is missing... it is... the Ron part. Wow, life has been different without him.
Going to go now. Love you, guys!

He is doing fine.

I am here at OSU, and Ron is doing fine so far. Has had a little nausua, but he is doing well, and the girls are happy to see him in the family waiting area... we even went to eat at the Wendy's down stairs together.
I brought our laptop to him, and so now you may email him, and he can watch church services tomorrow... glad there are some holiness churches out there with internet availability so Ron can "go to church."
His email is the same as mine, which is below.
The internet is much faster here than at home. I am going to miss my laptop, but, you know, I think it will be a blessing to him.
Once again he is doing really well, but the tough part hasn't come yet. Keep praying, my good friends!

I am so excited!

Tomorrow, I get to go see my man! A big thank you to Amy S who is riding up with me and my girls! I haven't seen him since I left him there Wednesday! Another thank you goes to the Blowers family who is ready on call to watch the children for a few hours so I can visit Ron... they pastor around there and are easily accessible and very trustworthy. And, another thank you goes to the Durrs who pastor a Bible Methodist church! They are really stepping out and taking the plunge as they are planning to take the children for 2 nights next week!
Ron is already experiencing nausea, and the medicine they have been giving him for the nausea makes him very sleepy. In fact, he may call me, but not say much or sound slurred because he is drugged... it is not as fun to have a one way conversation.
It has been strange here without him the last couple of days and nights. You know things would get broken or messed up when Ron isn't here to fix them. First night, Hope fell off my bed! She ended up being okay, but it scared me. Then, yesterday, I tried to shop with my children and go to the library. That is going to take time to get used to... it was nice when Ron was available to lend a hand some of the time. Then, today, a drain got clogged, and I had to figure out that... well, I poured the drain cleaner stuff down it... that acid stuff scares me, but it worked. Then, I killed my microwave while making supper! I had cooked the potatoes in the microwave as usual, but they made an unusual amount of noise, and wa-la, the machine won't work now... maybe I can fix it, I don't know. Won't be the first thing I have tried to fix... do you remember that headlight last year... I am going to learn some skills yet. Just as long as I don't try to climb on the roof this year to clean gutters... I am TERRIBLY afraid of heights... found out just how afraid last year after Ron's transplant... he got to tease me about that one. But there is one thing that needs done that requires a ladder, but I think I can handle it. Looks like I won't need to be cutting the grass much more, and Ron trimmed the trees so much that I doubt I will have too many leaves to rake... but, even if I did, I like doing that kind of work.
I have been cleaning and cleaning and homeschooling my children today... keep busy, keep busy, keep busy, talk on the phone, wash and fold laundry, make play-dough for kids, clean out van, cook, read, scrub bathrooms, vacuum, watch video about airplanes or Charlie Brown with the kids, just whatever I do, I must keep busy... or it hurts too much... I will miss him too much... I will get afraid... so, I just keep busy.
Ron's mom and sister stopped by for a few minutes today... it was nice to have some company, someone to give me a hug and say they loved me. I am looking forward to a nice hug from my man tomorrow... hope he is not too drugged to visit... cause I don't know if I will get to see him again until Tuesday night. That is a 3 night wait again, and I need this to be a good visit.
It is hard to sleep at night here... there is just too much to do, so much on my mind, and I just sometimes don't want to go to bed. I slept on the couch last night. It doesn't matter anyway where I sleep if Ron is not here, and well, it is just a little weird without him.
We are really doing well... just as long as I stay busy. I know that some folk think I am doing wrong by not being with Ron more, but I must obey my husband, and if he tells me I have to stay with the kids most of the time, then, my hands are tied... not only that, but, I have to schedule babysitters in a way that does not overwhelm anyone who already has alot of other responsibilities and in a way that puts our children in safe, healthy, and happy Christian atmospheres. I have seen a few frowns and whisperings about our decisions, but overall, people are very supportive and kind, and I am grateful!
By the way, Ron has been telling me that some of my friends out there have been calling him... thanks! Keep it up! You all are such a blessing! Thanks everyone!
Oh, by the way, my mom's heart cath was Monday, and there were no serious blockages, just some narrowing. She is taking it easy right now.
Now, to the rest of my family, I FORBID you to get sick or try dying. I am done with the competition, okay. Enough is enough. No one is allowed to have a heart attack, get cancer, or any other serious complication for the next 3 months, okay. Just settle down and take a little break from the drama. You all are making me nervous! I teasing you, of course, but I do think we could use a little break... don't you agree?
Well, now, is it nearly midnight? Oh, yes... maybe I will get to sleep before 2 am tonight. That would be nice. Goodnight, y'all!

He's admitted!

You may write to him... remember not to send him live flowers as he cannot have them.

Ronald S. Cook Room 356a
OSUCCC-James Cancer Hospital
300 W 10th Avenue
Columbus, Ohio 43210

He doesn't have a cool view from his room like last time, but his doctor might switch him to the room he had before if it opens up and if he wants it again. The room he has now is nice and spacey.
He got his central line placed Wednesday, and on Thursday morning, he is to start the chemo.
The doctor says everything looks in his favor. He is very strong, is considered in the state of remission right now, is young, and all of his tests evaluating his lung, kidney, and heart functions came back good, and his bone marrow test came back negative. This makes this transplant look very favorable in the doctor's eyes as a possibility for cure without much complications. Of course, there are no guarantees, and anything could go wrong... and, there are side effects and possibilities of damages from this, but they feel it is the best thing to do. I guess the doc told Ron he was either one of or the strongest person he has seen do this thing, or something like that.... might have something to do with Ron's desire to do push-ups and exercise while on chemo, and that he is such a big guy. If you just looked at him, you would likely not ever guess he even had cancer... except I see it... I see how the chemo and disease has made his eyes look different... darker underneath.
I hope that he never has any of the long term risks of the treatments he is about to go through, like cataracts, lung and heart problems, GVH disease, or leukemia. That wouldn't be fun.
Tonight is my first night here at our little home with him in the hospital. The children are sleeping and I am thinking about my plans for the next day... clean the house, teach the children, go out for a while, clean out the van, and call Ron a lot. I imagine the next day will be similar, but Saturday, I plan to see my man, and I might even let the girls see him too. The only way that can happen is if he is well enough to come out to the family waiting area with his mask on and his buddy (the IV pole) being pulled along side him. The children are not allowed to visit him on the unit.
Wow! My church treated me royally Wednesday night! One family bought us something to eat after church. People were ready to help load and unload the children from the vehicle. One family gave us a gas card, and then a group of people took up an offering! They helped me with my children during church, too! Special thanks to the Sowers family for watching my children Tuesday evening through Wednesday evening so I could take Ron to the hospital early Wednesday morning and get him set up. Thanks to the Adams family for dinner.
In case you don't know, all of the chemo and blood products he will be receiving will go through the central line that was placed today... that is also how they give him the transplant... they put those new cells through that line. The transplant is kind-of non-climatic. No big surgery or anything... just some cells going through a tube that leads into his heart area. But, those cells are what are to rescue him. When his immune system dies, they take over the house... well, actually, the doc said really only one of those umbilical cords' cells will triumph over his body in the end, but they cannot predict right now which will win in this double umbilical cord stem-cell transplant. Let the fight for life begin!