The phone rings in the middle of the night... and, you know, well, it's not good. Little sister on other line spelling out facts about dad's heart attacks, his pain, her fear, and the fact that they had to use a defibulator on him twice. Something about a heart cath, a complete blockage of main artery, and a bloodclot. My brain is whirling. It was a tough day trying to mend a family conflict, Ron's being scheduled for chemo Thursday, my trying to get ready for Children's Church (which now I am tempted to bail out), taking care of needy children (mine), my house is a disaster, and as of right now, I am having an anxiety attack! Should I go to see dad, or stay here for hubby who is to have chemo and is having pain, too? AAAAUGH! Keep in mind, my folks live a couple of hours from me. What if Daddy dies and they can't bring him back again? Can this possibly be happening? I don't know if I can go back to sleep unless I take some sleeping pills... but, I was planning to take Ron to work, so I could take him to chemo, so I could take Faith to piano, so I could go to Sister Manley's to review Children's Church songs, so I could pick Ron back up from chemo, so I could study and prepare for Children's Church, so I could clean my house, so I could SQUEEZE in everything a superwoman ought to do... but, then, HALT!!! Now, what?!
Dear Jesus, still this troubled heart of mine, and help me to remember that Thou art yet God! Always have been and will be good, and I can trust You! Help me to obey and rest in You!
Help Dad with his pain tonight, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically. Help all who are involved in his care.
Be with my hubby tonight... help him to rest. Bless him for being my hero and surround him with Your tender love. He loves You very much.
Help our children who are needing love and care. Help them to serve You.
Help me with Children's Church.
Help me with the house situation.
I need a hug right now, Jesus, so I reach my arms out to You, for I know You are awake in the middle of the night.
Calm my anxiety.
I love You.
Sarah
***By the way, I am surprised I still have phone service... just waiting for that to go off.***
5 comments:
Praying for you!!
I am sorry that things have been rough lately. Call me if you need to "vent." :-) I just told Troy that I wish someone would buy a ticket for my sister to come here and stay with my kids, and buy me a ticket so I could come to your house for a week. I would love to do all of your work and lighten your load for a few days! I am praying for you, and you are much stronger than you think, Sarah! Love you.
Oh, Sarah, I'm so sorry! I'm praying. I wish I could fix it, but I'm talking to the One who knows what's going on. You are loved!
oh how i have cried for you and your family. only jesus can solve these heart felt aches. i believe god is looking down just watching and listening to your cries and sees every tear that drops from your eyes. God did say he collects our tears and stores them in a bottle. when you are in his care the devil can do nothing that god does not permit. so when these stormy days and months are upon you remember you are a child of god and he does know all. sometimes when every care is weighing you down and the burden is so heavy that sweet voice inside you softly and gently whispers that GOD DOES HEAR AND LISTENS TO YOU CRY.LISTEN TO THAT SWEET SOFT SPIRIT AND REST UPON JESUS.after this odeal is over and the darkness is gone you will KNOW that it is jesus that has carried you and your family through these times. i am so proud of you and how you express yourself so others like me can draw strenght from you. only GOD has control and he will work all things for his GLORY. may jesus richly bless you and your family. may GOD put a strong hedge around you and protect you.
Sarah,
Hey girl! Ryan and I just wanted to tell you that we love you and that you are such a great wife and mother. Ron and the girls are so blessed to have you. you've allowed God to work in your life and now you are there to bless others, including us. We read your blogs and we are uplifted by your faith and yet our heart breaks at your trials. As you already know, God is so much bigger than cancer. We will specifically pray for Ron, you, Faith, Charity, Hope and your father tonight. We love you, Sarah! Keep walking!! (As the french peas say!)
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