Nervous

Here I am up after 12am hanging out on the computer, doing some reading and daydreaming. It is because of that coffee I drank! I had gone without coffee for like 8 days because I think I am allergic to it... so, I have that nice rash on my face again... looks like I have Rosacea, or something. Anyway, I feel like a cool wife the last couple of days... I have gotten enormous amounts of work done while Ron was away hunting. I did lots of shopping, cleaning, and even did some work that required a drill! Are you impressed? You ought to be... if you could have seen the struggle I had doing all of this with 3 little children, you would have said, "Bless her heart, she's trying to prove something... I sure hope she makes it!" Well, Ron was impressed (I think). That was one of my goals. I like to impress him. Guess it is like getting an A on an exam. My man comes home, looks around, eats, and goes to bed... home sweet home! No deer yet, but maybe there is still that chance.
Tomorrow is his day of testing at The James, and I am so nervous! It is worse than the possibility of failing a class. It is like... hey, if this didn't cure him?! Well, then, uh, I, I just don't know what?! I don't know when they will review the results with him, but I hope they don't make us wait long... it is tough especially when you have to wait over a weekend... we've done that plenty of times, but I still am not patient. It is in God's hands, and I know He will do what is right... not necessarily what we think is right. He sees the big picture. I trust Him. I am not really afraid. I am nervous. It is weird saying this, but as much as it will hurt if he is not cured, I think I am accepting it. You know those steps of grieving, well, I have wallowed in about each step... but, they are not nice and clean cut steps. You might think you have passed over a step, only to go back to it again. So, I think I am in the acceptance stage, but that doesn't mean I won't go back to previous stages at any given time. Emotions are like that. You can't expect to schedule them. I am a person who likes things laid out... scheduled... well, most of the time, so that I can be prepared, but, life isn't like that. It can annoy me, mess with me, hurt me, but we just can't boast of tomorrow.
Well, for your info... tomorrow Faith has a piano lesson, we have church with the Dickinson family coming to speak, and Ron will be gone most of the day for his testing. It is such a busy week. Next week, I have an appointment with that doc to discuss that nodule removal (mine), I am actually excited about that! Weird, I know. The next week, on Tuesday, December 15th, Faith has her very first piano recital... Yeah, Faithy. She is currently the youngest piano student her teacher has. She tries to mimic Kim Collingsworth, and that cracks up her teacher... and, Ron and me! This little fan has alot of work to do if she is going to reach her goal! She is too cute tipping that little head back and exaggerating her hand movements while she plays her little piece!