Post-traumatic Stress Disorder...
Perhaps that is why I lack the normal emotions a gal would have if her dad just had his second surgery to try to get all the cancer, with yet a possibility of a need to amputate his leg... not sure about that last part there... sounds wild. You think I would cry, but I guess I am numb. What is up with that? Sometimes I just can't cry anymore... am I warped or something? I just think... hey, let's see what else I can do to dress up my house! There seems something wrong with my numbness. I think about Ron's scans next month and I just am not sure what to expect... part of me says, "Girl, where's your faith?" Then, part of me says, "Sarah, you know that the one physician said it was only about a 25% chance Ron would be cured with that transplant he had, and statistics are really against him." Then, come the thought, "I STILL cannot get over the thought that Grandma is GONE! How I treasure her memory!" My brain is whirling tonight... gotta get the house cleaned, got to teach in the morning, really ought to dress up this place, I really need to loose a whole lot of weight, what if the kids or me is next with some terrible disease, why am I so addicted to coffee, does my life really matter to anyone, what is God's will for our future, will my dreams ever come true, and I really ought to go brush those children's teeth before they fall asleep tonight. How could I think so many things at one time? Cause it's just one of those big news kind of days, but I can't seem to feel the pain... it's like I am on some emotional tranquilizer or something. It's really weird, if you've never been there. I would rather not feel the pain right now anyway. My dad might be able to walk again, even though he is missing muscle, that is with rehab and with limitations. He is 54 years old. Not exactly an old man there... definitely not. Sigh.
Well, on the happy side, I am excited to say, the curtains are well on their way to being done, and I have come up with an inexpensive way to address the laundry area situation. Faith started school early this morning and was done by noon! Woo-hoo! I was really happy about that deal! I'll have to get picts of my progress on here when I get the projects done. I have some more ideas how to make my mobile home a beautiful little place to be, and it is gonna require my handy-dandy sewing machine... I am in love with that machine these days!!! So thankful my MIL bought it for me a few years ago... it has blessed me time and again! I am also gonna need some paint... but, by and by, this home is gonna be cute. Trailor walls can be tricky though, cause they aren't so tough... kinda soft really. So, some decor just wouldn't work here.
Well, that is a bit of what is goin' on in my world... had a nice weekend vacation with my family... more about that later!
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