"FUN DAYS"

Excuse the strange order of these pictures. The above pic was taken at Franklin Bible Methodist Church's new family building.

Some of these photos were taken at McDonald's playland.

Faith with her piano teacher, Darla Stroup.

The above hairstyle stayed in her hair for a few days.

I am calling what we have been doing since Ron has been at his retreat "fun days" to the kids, because I have been going out and doing lots of fun stuff with them, just because I want to. Yesterday, we went to Faith's piano lesson, then we went to my brother's house. I took lots of pictures! The kids got to play and eat with Wes and Rebecca's children, and I took pictures of their children and printed them with my little picture printer contraption. It is not professional, but they still turned out really cool, I think.

We got home late last night. Then this morning, I made the girls help clean the house up so we could go out for a fun day. We went to a large McDonald's Play-land, then to a Metro-Park/farm. It was amazing. They have animals, a lake you can fish in without a fishing licence, trails, and people dressed up like the late 1800s. They also have a children's interactive room with an old school-room/house/barn set up inside. The girls had a blast!

I ran into a complication with keeping my children together a few times... I just need one or two more arms, and I would be set. Once was at McD... that was so embarrassing... here I was trying to order our food, and they were giving me a hard time... that was one of those moments that I just really needed Ron to hold the baby for me so I could get the food without dropping it, but we made it. Another time was when we went to leave the lake, and Faith collapsed on the ground for some reason and just sat there. I just kept walking without her (it was raining) and brought the rest of the children to the van, fastened them in, turned on the van, got in, and acted as though I was going to leave her. That got her moving! Of course, I would never leave a 5 year old at some park (anyone who would do that must be out of their mind!), but she was not quite so sure at that moment. She received discipline upon her arrival and a lecture on how dangerous it is to not stay close to your parents when you are little and obey, but then, we went on with our fun day. She was really tired, and all of the children fell asleep in the van when we left. We went thriftstore shopping after I discovered the libraries were already closed, and I got some cheesy toddler video for the kids, and though I found it annoying the kids enjoyed watching it when we got home and ate supper. I also bought them some other stuff. (Why is it so fun to buy stuff for your children?) Then, it was time to get their teeth brushed, have a Bible story, and all those night-time things, and go to bed. Then, I could have time to read my Bible and pray.

It was a packed day, and tomorrow I have more fun things planned.

If all of this bored you to pieces, I am sorry, but I was really proud of myself for all the things I did with my children today without anybody with me... well, I had Jesus with me... believe me, I did some praying for help the past couple of days... my children might have their Mommy's prayers of "Please, Jesus, I need Your help" all the time so ingrained in their minds, I wouldn't be surprised if they don't start saying it soon. I really need Jesus' help in everything! He did help me and the children. They had so much fun!

Breaking news: the big day is...

WEDNESDAY. Yes, that is right! The insurance has now approved Ron's stem-cell transplant and the call came in today... they want him there this coming Wednesday!!! I don't know whether to be happy or to throw myself on my bed in tears! I am scared, excited, nervous, upset, relieved, uptight... well, it is a weird combination of emotions, and I am trying to stay busy... I need to think about something else... I mean, the brain surgery was a huge and dangerous ordeal, as was the autologous transplant, but this!?! I know others have made it through it and have been put into remission... check out this week's Focus on the Family to hear a story about a family who went through bone marrow transplants as well... but, I am still scared.
Ron is one of those guys some women dream of marrying, but they end up marrying a guy who is lazy and yells at their children. Ron and I argue sometimes... yes, but we have deep love for one another. You ought to see the way he trains our children! He does not spank them while he is upset... nope, he just goes and cools off, then talks with the child who was disobedient or mean, then he very carefully spanks them, then, he prays with them, hugs them... that is his usual manner. They know he loves them, and they also know he doesn't forget when he says they are in trouble... he just waits a while and makes sure he does it right. He is firm, but gentle... he is the dream of many children's hearts for a father. He tells them Bible stories about every night before they go to bed. They love to play with daddy. They love to sing and make music with daddy. Daddy provides very well for them. Daddy fishes with them, swims with them, eats with them, talks with them, makes up games with them, and they know Mommy calls him her "hero"... just ask Charity! They are really going to miss him... so is Mommy.
There are so many little and big things I have never really thanked him for... I mean, he goes out of his way to make my life easier... he loves me. Some husbands yell, scream, hit, and are never around... that is not Ron... I mean, yes, he works hard and does ministry, but by no means does he neglect his family. He is not the yelling type, and he definitely does not hit... and, screaming is something he does not like at all. He HATES verbal abuse! If he feels he has been too strong verbally with me, then he will apologize... he definitely does not abuse the children... no way! And, woe be to the person who would try to verbally attack his children or wife... HE DOES NOT PUT UP WITH SUCH TRASH! He is a protector. We are very safe when he is near... he will not allow others to abuse his family in any way. I love that about him. He really is my hero!
I can hardly wait until this ordeal is over and we can get on with our lives... he could get cured... wouldn't that be awesome! The chance may only be 25-33%, depending on which doc you are talking to, but it is a chance!
I thought that maybe I could give you all a quiz to see if you could remember or guess what this walk through Ron's cancer has been like. Let's see how many you can it figure out. Ready? Set? GO!
1. What were the first three signs or symptoms we noticed that lead Ron to get checked out?
2. How long ago did those appear?
3. A major symptom popped up before we got the test results back... what was it?
4. What had to take place the Sunday after we found out the results?
5. What major thing was going on with me at the same time?
6. How old did Ron just turn when he got the diagnosis?
7. What type of cancer/disease does Ron have?
8. What stage was it when it was found?
9. Where was the cancer located?
10. Where has he had radiation?
11. How many regimens of chemotherapy has he gone through?
12. How many surgeries has he had?
13. How many well- meaning people have called, written, sent literature, or talked to us about many alternative methods of cure? These are herbs, magnetic therapies, Indian remedies, anything that is not standard insurance-covered therapies. You may count me, too, since I also tried to convince Ron of something. Not that I am a doc or anything, I just care, too.
14. What is the abbreviations for the standard treatment of Ron's disease that generally puts many folks with his disease into remission?
15. What type of cells are associated with his disease?
16. If a patient is stage one or two, what is the cure rate?
17. What is the mortality rate doing this treatment he is about to go through?
18. I have given many shots to Ron... what kind is it? And, what does it do?
19. His disease is characterized somewhat because it is known for lowering one's body of immunity. This is increased by the chemotherapy killing off WBC... why does chemotherapy kill white blood cells when it is supposed to kill cancer cells?
20. There are many tests that someone must go through when they are diagnosed with this disease. What test majorly frightened me at the beginning of Ron's disease? What other test grossed me out?
21. What are the typical signs and symptoms of this disease Ron has? You should learn this... it has a way of creeping through a person who is unaware... or, too busy to just realize their body is infested with disease.
22. What disease is possible for Ron to have years from now because of his treatments?
23. How long have we been married?
24. How many children do we have?
25. What are their names and ages?
26. Ron and I were both called into a particular thing years before we were married... what was our united calling?
27. Where did we meet?
28. Where did Ron live when we were "dating"? Where was I?
29. Where did I first learn how to give the shot I have given Ron? Where did I get hands-on training in the area of oncology and med-surg? Hint: It was not a coincidence!
30. Are Ron and I still dreaming of fulfilling our calling?

Guess that is enough for now... you can find many of the answers to these questions by looking back through old posts... take a walk with us as we look back at what God has helped us through. Some people ask how we can do it. Honestly, sometimes I think God has numbed us... other times He held us as we cried. And, He was even there when I was angry. Some folks say they don't get angry, but well, sometimes I hurt so bad, I feel kind-of mad. Sometimes I just don't understand it all, but when the fog clears up I see God's hand-prints of grace and preparation in our lives. It is not about whether Ron gets healed... it is about whether God can keep us through it all. Will we run away from Him? Will we hate Him for allowing such apparent tragedy? Will we trust Him in the valley of the shadow of death? I have ran some, been confused, angry, and have had to ask Him to forgive me. He just takes me back and holds me and like a gentle father, He holds me close and lets me cry on His shoulder and rocks me until I calm down. I have no better one to turn to... but, my Creator and Saviour. And, I know of no other better example of God's grace and strength in our day than my husband. I know it is dangerous to put a person on a pedestal, but if you know Ron, I know you would have to agree. Keep on praying, dear friends, for him... this is tough stuff.
Until next time...
Clinging to the Rock

PS: I'll try to give you the above answers soon... in the meantime, see if you can figure them out yourself.

I like good news...

Just a few lines here.
I was told that my aunt is talking!!! And, no more respirator... Aunt Cathy, if you read this, if I have been spelling your name incorrectly, please forgive me... wasn't sure if you have a C or a K at the front of your name... that is bad, huh? I don't know that I have ever bragged on being a fantastic speller anyway... I like grammar, but, even that fails at this time of the night... who cares about punctuation, spelling, conjugation, and the correct format of sentences after midnight? I am just glad to hear that you are doing better! You are very much loved! Here is a long distance hug to you XXXX. We love you!
If anyone else wants to call me with good news, I will be glad to receive it. Lately, it seems that most people have bad news... I mean, can we take a break from all the trauma?!
Mom is scheduled to see the cardiologist Monday, and I guess she will probably have a heart cath whenever they schedule it. Dad still isn't feeling great since his heart attacks.
Ron is going to a Men's Retreat. I am so glad that it is scheduled before his transplant! I hope it is encouraging and relaxing to him... we all know he could use it... not sure if he can actually make himself not work for a couple of days... he's such a go-getter, busy, productive kind of guy... I really tried to encourage him to go to this thing, and I won... I love it when that happens! I have the next few days so booked for me and the girls that I think it is going to fly by! We are going to visit my brother's family, and do all sort-of stuff. I am actually excited to show the girls what is on the schedule! Call it a little vacation of a sort.
God has been good to us... we don't know what lies ahead, but the Bible says we can trust Jesus. So, I guess I better flop this load I have been carrying on His lap, 'cause I have no clue what to do with it. I am just wasting my energy and mind trying to figure everything out, and in the meantime, I have been often leaving out the One Who knows exactly what to do with it all. I need some sleep, and I guess carrying this massive load isn't conducive to sleep. So, FLOP, and goodnight!

When it rains, it pours... and, there's a storm here!

"The EKG wasn't normal. Mom has to have a heart cath now. How much more can our family take?" Rachel is my reporter. My parents are in financial difficulty partially due to dad's health issues and not being able to work, and therefore, they do not have long distance phone service. My little sister, who is a manager at a McDonald's "down home," has long distance and she keeps me posted somewhat on Dad, Aunt Cathy, and Mom. It is crazy how life can have its twists and turns! I call "home" often, too, to check up on my folks and for a report on my aunt.

However, I have some fun news... I feel inspired for another round of Children's Church. If you go to our church, please save your cereal boxes! If you have a cereal bar recipe, please share them with me. Electa, I need you to make me a life-size race car. Amy S, I will need your assistance with baby Hope again. Thanks, Rebecca M and Melodie Y, for running through my thoughts over the phone with me... Rebecca, you saved me on a few things, thanks! I am sooo very excited! The theme is JUMP START: BREAKFAST! Don't tell the children yet... I don't want to spoil the fun! I felt that the Lord may have given me the fresh idea last night as I sat looking at all the cereal the Roofs gave us. It hit me that there was a fresh idea there, and I prayed for what I should do, and I ran with it. I have the Bible lesson ideas ready, I know what character story I want, I know what CD I want to buy for the songs, I have verses picked out, some ideas for treats, and drew an outline for the decor for the classroom. The skeleton of the next series is ready... just need to fill in the blanks! SOOOO, excited! I have like maybe 5 weeks to get it all ready to go! I love this stuff. Although, I am having a little trouble with the bulletin board ideas, but, I am sure it'll come to me! This is something that just really helps take the sorrow off my heart with all the pain in my life right now... it is the numbing medicine and the boost... and, I am really glad! I need Children's Church as much as it needs me.

Excuse us as we compare mobile homes.

This was part of Faith's schoolwork, and since it is becoming the season this, then I thought I would use it as part of our Fall decor.

The hair pin is not part of the decor, in case you are wondering :-) They just seem to be everywhere.

Yes, I know the picture on the wall needs straightened! That book on the piano is Faith's lessons... Alfred's Basic Prep Course. She is nearly through with the first book.

The wreath I made was too thick to put on my front door between the screen door and main door, so I sort-of tied it to the porch light. :-) I would have preferred it on the door, but it just wouldn't fit. I like the Autumn decor. I don't do Halloween, of course, but I like the warmness of the Autumn colors. Gives a cozy family feeling. I like the candles that come out at this season, as well.

Odd, I know, but that scarecrow and leaves in the curtain was about the best I could think of at the moment. I didn't have lots of money to spend on decorations, so I did what I could.

Rachel, this looks a little odd, because my camara had to stitch together three photos, so it make it look different. But, you can get the general idea. The above window's curtains are the one the children kept pulling off the wall. I bought new stuff to keep them up... shouldn't be so easy to pull down now.

This is the other side of the same room. I took the photos last night, so that is why it looks dark.

The girls' room.

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My little sister, Rachel, just moved into a mobile home not long ago, and due to all the craziness in our lives right now... family, health, finances, work, schedules, you know... neither of us have been able to visit the other's trailor home. So, Rach, here's my attempt to take some panaramic pictures of a couple of rooms. I have 1 and 1/2 baths, 3 bedrooms, the kitchen and dining area are one and the same, a laundry CLOSET (this I don't much care for... nowhere to hide the ever growing laundry), a living room, and a small hall. The one bedroom is used as a school/study and is where Hope's pack'n'play currently is set up. We have a nice porch and a patio area. The neighbors here all seem to know each others' business and watch out for each other. If anything happened to Ron or they thought we needed help, I know several who would probably be knocking at my door, or asking if there is anything they can do. Not that they ever have had to do that, they just give me that impression mostly. If someone looked suspicious around here, I think the cops might receive several phone calls... the speed limit is 10 miles an hour here! They are particular about cleanliness and orderliness, and I have heard they will write up residents for not lining up. They have security, too. Nice play area with a track for exercise. It is usually VERY quiet here! What a change if you once lived near the city! They even have lots you can rent for gardening! I would like to do that next year, if possible. I like having big yards, but I am getting used to this. I feel pretty safe... except in tornado weather!

Even though I feel safe, it is going to be strange without my hubby here for a while. You see, although we have security, good neighbors over all, dead-bolt locks on the doors, locks on the windows, a light that pops on when there is movement outside, and I have Ron's gun, it is not the same as having my man. He weighs nearly 260 and is very strong... yes, even with all the chemo he has had. In his high school days, he was fourth in the state in heavy weight wrestling, and before he was a Christian, he would beat up people for the fun of it. Of course, he would not do that now, but I would not want to be the person who tried to harm his family... I am certain he can still take 'um down. I can't even do a whole push-up, but he can do lots of them, and because he still works hard, he is still muscular... maybe not quite like his wrestling days, but he is one strong preacher now... :-) I have been very impressed watching him lift very large appliances all by himself when we needed move them... he's a tough cookie!

But, there is One who is stronger still, who will be watching out for his children... and, I am so glad Jesus will be here with us. Maybe He will even send some reinforcements... some friends or some extra angels our way. That would be nice.

"But, Sarah, you are not alone."

Tonight I got a taste of what it will be like to be without my husband with me for a while.
He is in Columbus for the preliminary testing. He signed the consents... last night he wasn't sure, but decided finally to go through with it. He went for a few tests today, and has more tomorrow (actually "today" was yesterday, and "tomorrow" is now today, since it is after one in the morning). He has a bone marrow biopsy or aspiration tomorrow... those things are yuck. Watched him at least two or three times get those! You don't get put to sleep while they grind this thing through your skin and into your bone and the sound it makes is just... well, you just don't want to know! He does amazingly well during these things... maybe the numbing medicine is powerful or he's just a tough cookie. He will be home tomorrow, and we should know soon when he will be admitted.
I felt like an emotional basketcase at church. I really put extra effort into trying to be "prepared" for church... I mean, I had a sippy cup of water, snack crackers, raisins, paper and pencils, a book, a few toys, diapers, wipes, anti-bacterial lotion, powder, about anything you might need to make church go as smoothly as possible with three very tiny children and being without my husband's assistance. I even had them use the bathroom before church like a good mommy would. Changed the baby's diaper before church. Dressed them up cute, fixed their hair beautifully, and gave them a bite to eat before we went to church. We prayed before we left our trailor park for God's help in church. They napped in the van on the way to church. But, would you know with all the work I put into helping me survive the service, I still had a struggle with them! It just isn't the same without Ron. Yes, I heard Hope trying to sing, and Faith testified, but they weren't well rested, and I didn't have Ron. Some friends eventually came to my rescue, and that was nice.
As we prayed during the prayer meeting, I cried quietly to God because of the "alone-ness," and it was ever so sweet to "hear" Him gently say to me that I wasn't and wouldn't be alone... I felt Him direct my attention to my church family. I had been complaining lately about them a little... sometimes the devil tries to tell me that they really don't care, that they are too busy for sharing my hurt, but the devil is defeated tonight... he is a liar! After I felt God reminding me of my church family, I cried quietly and shook with the emotion of it all. Right then, someone came to where I was kneeling, wrapped their arm around me and prayed gently with me, then, someone came and sat with me and my children for the remainder of the service. They have no idea what they did for me tonight. Jesus was there... wrapped in the skins of my friends.

A couple of pics Part 2

Took this pic a few days ago while he was having fun with the kids in devotions. I think he was surprised by my outburst of picture taking that evening. Then, smooch!

The kiddies in our "new to us" van. It was Ron's parents' van, but they gave it to us. The AC doesn't really work either, but it is nice to have a second van so I wouldn't have to get up so early to take Ron to work so I could go somewhere certain days.

This was taken at the Air Force Musuem a few weeks ago.

Our big girl. Isn't it fun when they learn to fasten their own seatbelts and tighten them up?! I was glad when Faith learned how to do it herself.

Hope's really cheesing it up here, huh?

A couple of pics

I caught this moment and thought it was too sweet to not capture. Faith loves her daddy. The Bible storybook you see is the series he has been reading to the girls nearly everyday.

God's gift to me... a Christian family! A God-fearing husband who is dedicated no matter what life brings, and three of the most beautiful, personality filled, talented, challenging, precious little girls in the world. The above photo was taken at Clinton Camp this Summer.

I miss it already!

"It" is Children's Church. I just told Ron last night how much I missed teaching. You think I would be grateful for the break. I guess I am, but there is something so satisfying about teaching those youngsters. They are challenging, but wonderful! I think I would just shrivel up into nothing if I had noone to teach... so... right now, my students are my own kids at home. I had to take a break from CC because of Ron's situation; otherwise, I would have probably offered to keep going with a new theme. It felt strange being in the adult service Sunday morning. I enjoyed the service, except my baby Hope was exceptionally fussy (no, Amy, I didn't pinch her this time :-) You would just have to be there to know why I would do such a thing... she was not really hurt).
When we visited the Kenwood Church Sunday night, I saw their Children's Church before the service. My two older children went to CC that evening there. My children love Ms Charolette... she is so gentle and good with children... you get this feeling that she is geniunely interested in you alone. I would love to learn some skills from her. I want the children in our class to feel loved that way, too. It is something that could stick with a child for many years to come.
So, I guess I will just have to be patient and wait until I can start teaching again... the desire is burning a hole in me.

A lost art

There is a seemingly lost art that I got to experience last night. My hubby preached at Kenwood Bible Methodist Church and did a very fine job, and WE WERE INVITED to go to the Durr's house for dinner and fellowship afterward. They didn't just send us home with a sack lunch or whatever, they had us over and even though they are older they love kids!!! I mean, they were prepared! They have a play area for children!!! Seriously! They were sweet to my children, they weren't panicked about their house getting "messed up." I have found that when people have small children, invitations sometimes almost completely cease (except with family). I felt like someone wrapped their arms around me and just hugged me! It was absolutely wonderful. The food was great! The fellowship was enough to almost make me want to cry. I felt so good as I left. It didn't seem like just a duty... they said they enjoy company... we weren't even the only ones there. Larry Smith and his wife were there as well, and they didn't seem annoyed at my children either! No degrading comments, but rather compliments. How fun! Made me think that I need to try to have people over more often. It might make someone's day! I have lots of toys and books here for small children, and we live in a nice neighborhood with park nearby. I am prepared that way. There are probably lots of people out there that never get invited to someone's house... you know, have a relaxed dinner, the ladies clean-up, then everyone sits down and just visits... I don't mean gossip... just talk about their own lives, about the Bible, about ministry, about child-raising, grandparenting, recipes, quilting, whatever... when you are asked into someone's home, it is like they are allowing you into their world, and that is how I felt last night... it was like someone hugged me and said "I love you just the way you are, and that's that." It seems like a lost art, but I think I would like to learn it.

Mission's Convention and other things

This weekend is Mission's Convention at our church. The mission's organization that comes every year is EFM. You ought to attend if you live close by!

I got word from my brother that my aunt that had the open heart surgery is not doing well... he said that he was told that her stomach was bleeding from the blood thinners. I called over to the hospital, and they said she is in ICU, but the nurse was busy and asked me to call back later. I had wanted to talk to my parents, but I don't know if they are there. That is the down side of my family not having cell phones. Ron and I have cells for many reasons... but, it is pretty pricey... but, I see it as a necessity right now. Ron and I can talk to each other as much as we want without using any minutes up... that is good, cause we talk to each other a whole lot throughout the day. I hope and pray that Aunt Cathy will be okay.

Um, this is a note to Tammy from camp... I tried to email you, but it didn't go through... could you email me... maybe that would clear up any errors I have in your email address.
theroncookfamily@yahoo.com

Thanks to all the pastors, friends, GBS folks, and others for the cards! They are so special! Keep in mind that we moved a while back, and so if you are sending them to our old address, they may take some time getting here. If you would like our new address, just email me (above). Thanks for your continued prayers concerning Ron's treatments.

By the way, for those of you who have been wondering (I know some have been, because I have been asked a few times), Ron's allergic reaction was not too serious the other day. I guess he got that feeling in his mouth, got a hive, but then took some Benedryl and that seemed to stop him from having the full effect. Sometimes his reactions can be quite uncomfortable, and when he was a child I guess it even affected his breathing. So, if we visit your house, and he asks what the ingredients are in your food, please do not be offended... he has to do that... no poultry meat allowed... poor guy... I love poultry, but don't see much point buying much of it if I can't make it for him.

I have been tackling laundry and other housework today. Nice thing about Saturdays is the break from homeschooling. I was not very nice to Faith yesterday in school and she has been telling people at church about it... how embarrassing! I told her I was sorry and I would not react in that manner again... if you homeschool, you might know what I mean, when I say that sometimes when they just don't seem to "get it," it can be frustrating. When I worked in Christian schools, the children were not mine, so I didn't take their errors personnally... but, for some reason, I did when Faith failed an oral evaluation yesterday. After my "not so nice" attitude, I changed my tactic. We took a break... I played babydolls with my girls... ha! Then, we tried a learning game. Seriously... it was like I was talking to a brick wall... I could not for the life of me get the concept across to her... Charity and Hope joined in the game, and Charity seemed to be catching on quicker than Faith. Soooo, after the game, I tried another tactic... I will have her write this thing over and over. We tried that. She started catching on. Seriously, I was determined to get this thing into her. She memorizes so well, and does well with phonics, but can you guess what the battle was?! Recognizing the numbers 10 and 11 (Math class)! Another day, the struggle was teaching her what a mayor was (Social Studies class). HA! I couldn't get her to say "mayor." Sounds silly looking back, but at the time, it seemed a big deal. She usually excels in her work... seriously excels! So, why was I making such a big deal out of it... don't know! I LOVE homeschooling... but, yesterday, I was ashamed that I had gotten so upset about something, that obviously was my fault, because I had not spent enough time in number recognition... sure, we've practiced counting, doing some telling time, did some work with patterns, etc., but we needed to work more on recognizing numbers 10-20 on flashcards. So, that means extra practice this week. Sigh. That is what can happen if you try to fly through your work... you can miss something important.

Mommies are not allowed to be sick!

I feel blaaa! I am sick... my body aches, I cough, I sneeze, the lymph nodes in my throat feel weird, I have a different voice, temps a little higher than normal, and I am officially sick. I don't get sick like this very often, but it has come upon me, and what do you know, but life still demands my attention?! I couldn't call off my job. I still had to make sure my children were fed, bathed, and safe. I still mowed my grass. I still washed dishes, cleaned the refrigerator... who spilled that drink?!, cleaned the microwave, my bathroom, did a 1/2 days worth of homeschooling, and oh, even my jaws ache! Maybe that is from talking too much or from chewing that gum. Around my eyes hurt... but, life must go on... I am on active duty... I have to be... MY HUSBAND ACCIDENTALLY ATE SOMETHING WITH CHICKEN MEAT TODAY!!! It happened at work, so I didn't get to read the ingredients before he ate it. (In case you don't know, my hubby is highly allergic to poultry!!! Has been since he was a child!) The Salisbury steaks we usually buy do not have chicken meat, but some do... we have to ask about meats and stuff even at restaurants! Anyway, he took some anti-histamine, and you know what that can do to a person... knocked him out... so no church for us tonight... and, I, sick mommy, am on active duty still.
I even slept part of the night sitting up so I could breathe better. Blaaa! At least I am not vomiting and stuff (yet).
My aunt had a one-way bypass today... still waiting to see how she is doing. I would rather have my sickness than hers! Please, keep praying for her recovery.

Sorry if you missed it!

The Lord really helped Ron preach tonight. Ron doesn't preach real often, since he is not the pastor... but, he preached tonight with gusto! I loved it! Of course, I am a bit prejudice toward him, I guess. I like to hear him do what he felt called to do years ago... preach!

On another thought:
Yes, my friends, I have gotten swept into the herb, vitamin, and natural-healing ideas somewhat. I actually tried to convince Ron tonight that if he doesn't want to do the transplant, maybe he should let me "treat" him with the things I have been studying about. He actually listened and acted as though he might consider it if he decides not to do the transplant. What does he have to loose? Okay, you can laugh at me now, but hey, can you blame me? Here I am trying to detoxify my body with these herbs and stuff and sitting here thinking of them pumping all this toxic stuff into my husband's precious body... he has been through so much of this stuff before, and when is it enough? He may still do the transplant, and I will support him if that is what he decides... but, it was a thought that just maybe there is another way. If you tell Ron that I wrote this on my blog, he is probably going to be embarrassed... but, there is no telling what I will write when it is nearly 12am, and I have heartburn from the veggie soup (tomato juice doesn't settle well with me at night, and I also drank cranberry juice... I was really asking for it!)

Yet another thought"
Three little children stayed after Children's Church this morning to pray for Jesus to come in their heart... what an honor to lead them in prayer! Have I ever mentioned how I love to teach Children's Church?! It is exhausting, but sooo rewarding!

Hold on to your seats...

We are doing serious thinking and are praying about this transplant, chemo, and radiation thing. Ron is not certain it is what he wants to do. It feels a little like a gamble... you throw the dice and you either live or die or die slowly with this thing, and it is about as clear as mud to us. Right now, no for sure cancer is showing up on the last two PET scans, Ron is extremely active... he works, ministers, helps me and others, and enjoys his children and family. This thing could ruin all that for him for a long time or kill him. We know what the doctor said about it being the only way to cure him... but, does it make it the best choice?! Ron wants to know what I think... I just don't know either... but, I told him that whatever he chooses, I will support him in that choice. Ron is a wise man, and he likes to think things through very carefully.
Please, pray that we will have wisdom and clarity in this.
I will plan to let you know what his choice is in the future. I wanted to let you know what was going on here so you are not totally shocked if we say that he decided not to go through with it. I know that this might upset some folk, but if you have never walked in this path, it will be hard for you to understand. He might still go through with it... but, we are just not sure right now... we know of others who have refused this because of its harshness. I can't blame him for doubting the wisdom in all this. It is a roller-coaster ride that we have been on and I am weary.

"Did you hear about Aunt Cathy"

Rachel asks me in a chat on Yahoo a short while ago.
No, I say, What?
She had a heart attack...
WHAT?

What is going on?! My dad just had 2 heart attacks recently, and now his sister had one! I called her at the hospital and talked with her a little bit ago, and found out the details and how she is feeling. This is unbelievable! Her husband just passed away of cancer like a little over a year ago, I think. I am a bit surprised at this new turn of events. Life is definitely uncertain!!!

Please, pray for my Aunt Cathy... this must be so frightening for her... she called the ambulance herself!!! I am glad she was able to do that. I love her, and she is always has so much fun with my babies! I am sure my grandparents are a little overwhelmed having 2 of their 3 offspring have heart attacks so close together. It wasn't too long ago that Grandpa had his stomach removed because of a cancerous tumor... they said it hadn't spread... which is amazing! Then, right down the line, people got heart problems or cancer in our family circles in just the last couple of years... Uncle Frank, Ron, dad, Aunt Cathy, etc... you just never know...

Sure glad we have the One who never changes on our side... The Solid Rock, Jesus Christ... you can cling to Him when everything else gives way. He doesn't budge... He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Praise the Lord! So hang on tight, and you are sure to make it! He won't push you away... He wants you to make it way more than you want to make it yourself! He demonstrated that on the cross! Thank You, Jesus!

"When all around my heart gives way, He then is all my hope and stay."

Ron's Allogeneic Blood and Marrow Transplant

Today we had our pre-admission education.
In less than 2 weeks from now, he will need to get his work-up... could include chest x-ray, stress MUGA, pulmonary functioning testing, bone marrow test... yuck, and signing consents.
Then, they are hoping to admit him by the end of the month if everything goes well with the cords and all. This is considered a clinical trial that he is undergoing.
He will then have to have another central venous catheter placed, then begin the gruelling treatments. There was some confusion today whether he was receiving a non-myeloblative preparative regimen or a myeloblative... I believe it is the former.
Here is what I understand is to happen. He is to begin treatments six days before his double umbilical cord blood (UCB) transplant. He will begin taking a drug called fludarabine, by IV once a day for five days. Then, cyclophosphamide on the sixth day before tranplant. On the day before transplantion, he is to receive a low dose of total body irradiation (TBI). Then comes the transplant. Three days before the transplant, he should be given cyclosporine twice a day and Mycophenolate mofetil three times a day to prevent his body from rejecting the donor's stem cells and to help decrease the risk of devoloping a complication called graft-versus-host-disease (GVHD) which can be mild or severe, even life-threatening.
The side effects of these chemotherapies and other medications are not a game... some are life threatening... some serious ones are very rare, like pneumonia, brain injury, rupturing of spleen, bloody vomit, confusion, fast heartrate, etc. Some are common... hair loss, decreased WBC, decreased platelets, anemia, tiredness, nausea, vomiting, tremors, mouth sores, and stuff like that... most are treatable.
We continue to covet your prayers. We also found out that the recovery period is long, and he will likely need a caregiver (me) 24 hours a day for at least 2 months afterward... a fever can come upon him quickly and it can be quite dangerous... and, graft-versus-host may appear even after that and could be chronic. His immune system could take a long time to recover.
Would it be any surprise to you if I told you I am having problems again with anxiety attacks?!

I have a couple of nieces staying all night and the girls are having a little slumber party... they are hoping that I write about them on here... they are having a blast... Sierra wants me to tell you all that she is dressed up with a bunny hat... they are having a tea party and have children's Christian choruses blasting and are dancing around. Ron is not home right now, he went out to witness to an old friend, fix an issue with one our vans, and went to his office to prepare for Sunday's sermon. So, the riot is on at our house! Party complete with pizza that Mimi bought for them earlier today... now there is a fight going on about a stuffed animal! Hope is putting on little dress up shoes.... nothing much cuter than a baby with nothing than a diaper and heeled dress-up shoes on.

This Sunday is the last of the series of "Child of the King: Pure Royalty" Children's Church series at our church, then the Beatty family takes over for a few weeks, at least. I really felt God's help last week, and we have been having various folks tell the Bible stories. I love being in charge of Children's Church, but I am looking forward to the break.

We didn't have school today... Faith is ahead and it will not hurt her to have the day off... since Ron and I had to be in Columbus... and, Aunt Shenna watched the girls. Unfortunately, I have not been diligent in Faith's piano practicing the last couple of weeks, and have cancelled lessons two weeks in a row... aren't I getting off tract early?!

I had a neighbor show up at my door this week with a little bit of an emergency... his wife couldn't breath well (she has been in the hospital alot lately), and, though I did not realize it, the husband seems to have been having a diabetic attack! They wanted me to come right over and pray right away for them... I threw on my flip-flops and told my children to stay in the house while I ran next door. I prayed with her while rubbing her frail back... prayer and back rubs are a powerful combination in calming a panicked person, then I brought over some food (cause the husband indicated that they had no food prepared and was in need), and they calmed down, and soon felt better. Then, he went grocery shopping when he could think clearly again. They are a really sweet elderly couple next door and I felt sooo honored that they would have me come over like that... It really is better to give than to receive!!!

Charity is either fighting a cold or allergies... nice sniffles, and took a really big nap today... Hope seems to be having allergy problems, too, only hers came in a form of a slight rash across the face while playing outside. They were playing in the dirt and weeds at the park after we went on a bike ride together the other day, when I discovered the apparent allergy... under her eyes were pink, too... not sure what is causing it. It is not serious, but, I would like to know what it is.

I AM NOT A NURSE, FOLKS!!! I used to dream of being one, and now, without the license, I seem to be in active duty!!! Maybe I SHOULD have gotten my license, after all!

Got off tract on my diet today, I had lost about 10 lbs, and now what have I done?!

Life is complicated here, and some of us are a bit edgy... we continue to keep busy... sometimes stuffing our pain deep in our hearts and sometimes crying our painful hearts out...
But, we press on!

Facts

There are no "for-sure" malignancies shown on the PET scan... good news! Again! There are some questionable areas... one appears to be reactive (whatever that means) and the most of the others seem to have no up-take of the radiotracer. Some areas may have even shrunk some more. Perhaps scar tissue, or something.
Anyway, that is good news for the "go-ahead" in the tranplant. They want little to no activity when they slap someone with this thing. They said it could be another month before he is admitted. Gotta double check those umbilical cords to be sure they good for him, I guess.
Tomorrow is his pre-transplant educational class. I plan to go with him, if all works out okay... since I, as his "caregiver", need educated, too.
Another thing I have been thinking about, was my last post... you know, to be honest, I had some of the best child-care givers during his last transplant stay that I could ask for. Some were conveniently located in close proximities of the hospital!!! I mean, a couple of families matched perfectly what I wanted in a babysitter! It was TOTALLY a God-thing! They were kind and gentle with my children, while also being firm when needed be, they were solid holiness Christians... actually, some were pastor's wives! They had good experience with children, and was very good to my children. And, they didn't stuff my kids with junk food. I knew that God had opened those doors... now, this time, I am praying for doors to be opened again... where I just know it is a God-thing. I still would be tickled-pink if I could have someone here at my house, but, if not, I am praying that my children would not have to be tossed around too much. The mortality rate of this treatment Ron is about to receive, is like 15%, and I think I would feel just aweful if something happened when I wasn't there for him. And, this will make him so sick, I just want to be the one who is right there to comfort him. He should only be there for maybe 2 1/2 to three weeks, I think, and then, if all goes well, I can take care of him at home... along with my children... and, we can all be together again, school can resume, and I will be super-woman! Back to the routine of life... well, except Ron will probably not work for a little while. And, we will be on the alert against germs and he will have to be on a low-bacterial diet again.
It has been considered to not go through with this thing... you don't understand unless you have been there, it is terrible! Just pray that we will make the right decisions in the nest few days!

The big day

Today is the big day... Ron meets with the transplant doctor, and hopefully review the results of yesterday's PET scan... this is decision making day, I guess... I am nervous! I wish sooo badly I could go with Ron, but I refuse to drag three children into the meeting... I don't know that they would be allowed anyway. Ron said that would be the only way I could come... if the children were with me. We did not get a babysitter for today's event. So, I am pouting.
You may laugh as you read this next part... it is okay... you have probably never read such a WANTED article... but, here is my WANTED article for today.
I am interested in a Christian babysitter... female... during Ron's hospital stay. I do not have a job, so I cannot really pay you... seems like an unreasonable request, I know. I would like to have them stay at my house, but that might be impossible for them. You do not have to do school-work 'cause we are ahead, the children are not allowed to be too picky about food, and only one is still in diapers... so, that will lesson your work. They are not allowed to watch regular TV (we don't own one anyway) generally, but very, very select DVDs that are educational, character building, and/or glorifies Jesus. Soda is a very rare treat. Suckers and candy that gets stuck in their teeth is limited. And, I like their teeth brushed last thing before they go to bed. Bathes daily. Uses car seats! Are not allowed to be sassy or disobedient... I would feel very sad if I got them back and they had been allowed to act that way. Holiness Christian woman preferred. I would like a resume'. HA! Physical, emotional, or abuse/neglect otherwise will be prosecuted to the fulness of the law :-) I actually might become a grissly bear if I find out someone harms my children... it will hurt! You can see why I have trouble getting babysitters :-)

Well, I have had babysitters that did not match all of this criteria, and have been a little disappointed in what happened while I was gone, but I needed them and they were available and I was thankful for their help.
There is a friend of mine in a far away land, that I so wish could be my children's caregiver for a couple of weeks... she sooo meets all of my criteria, but, plane tickets aren't free... oh, well. I will pray. I want to be with Ron as much as possible, in case something goes wrong, and also because this treatment is so beastly that I want him to know his children are well cared for and safe and that I am by his side. He would not be able to relax if he thought the children's care was being compromised... he would rather me stay at home with them and leave him at the hospital, then to have a questionable person caring for them. He's a good daddy. I do have a couple of offers and I think my girls will be excited to hear who wants to play with them for a day... I like things pre-planned, so I will have to work out the schedule, and get back with those fine Christian friends of ours!
There is today's prayer request is that the person(s) that God wants for the job would email me. I am hoping not to toss my children around too much this time... they were a little emotional the last time that happened.

If your happy and you know it...

smile.
Jesus is giving me strength today. It is awesome watching my children soak up what they are learning in home-school... in mama style! I am catechising my children. Seriously! I ordered it from Bob Jones, and they have to respond to the Bible Truths verbatim, and Faith is doing it with flying colors!!! We are doing 5 new questions a week. The other subjects I have been using are mostly A Beka... my daughter writes in cursive, can tell time somewhat, and is learning things that many public schools would not teach until 2nd grade... I know because I went to public school from Kindergarten to 12th grade... I remember in high school how some teachers REALLY slacked, allowing us to just watch wretched videos and play cards. Some teachers did excellent jobs, while others had no business "teaching." Well, my daughter is only in kindergarten and is excelling quick! It is not easy to keep up with everything, but I am loving it. I am also teaching them the ABC Bible verses from A Beka... I am so proud of Charity's memorizing them with Faith! She is only 3, but catching on quick! I have been pushing Faith hard because Ron is supposed to go into the hospital soon, and I might have go take time off school while he is in the hospital. She is way ahead now in her work, so we are good to go. I am happy to be my children's teacher!
I am happy, 'cause Jesus met my heart's need last night as I responded to his prompting to go and pray at the alter.
I am happy, 'cause Children's Church went well yesterday morning.
I am happy, 'cause Jesus answered our prayers for Ron's stem cells to come in.
I am happy, 'cause I can trust Jesus.
I am happy, 'cause I am loosing weight again.
I am happy, taking my vitamins, herbs, mineral, anti-oxidants, and exercising, knowing that I am doing a good thing for myself... and, feeling better.
I am happy, because it is well with my soul.
I have mourned so much since Ron's diagnosis nearly 2 years ago, and every relapse brings another wave. His battle has had so many ups and downs, and like life in general, it can be uncertain. There have been times that I wondered if I could possibly handle the stress, pain, and waves of life... but, today, I feel some strength... could it possibly be that YOU are to blame for this sense of strength... could it be that God's people have been lifting us to the Throne and praying for us?! I just know you are! Thank you!!! Thank you so very much! Prayer is powerful... but, only if you are praying to the One True God... and, I know many of you are interceding in prayer for us. It means so much!

cards

If those who who like our address to send Ron a card or an "I'm prayin' for ya" note, would kindly email me, I think that would be the easiest way for me to send out our address. I won't put it on my blog... but, I would be very happy to email it to you. Email us at theroncookfamily@yahoo.com
It may be another 3 weeks, it sounds like, before he will be put in... but, we won't know for sure until that PET on Monday and he meets with the transplant doctor on Tuesday. Once he is in the hospital, then you may send the notes directly there at The James Cancer Center.... I will try to give that address when the time comes.
Yesterday, Ron and I went on a date... alone! Nice! And, today, we had family pictures taken... still have to order the ones we want, but at least, they have been taken! Had them done at Wal-Mart. Say, those are at least two of my birthday wishes! Thank you, Ron! I don't think he realizes he is completing some list! Tonight, we all went to GBS's revival... very good... even with squirming children.
Thank you all for your sweet comments! It means more than you know... one of mine and Ron's love languages are words of affirmation and care... powerful!
I haven't done well on my diet thing the last couple of days... grrr! I really need to do this... it really is important. Sounds petty compared to Ron's cancer... but, preventing a preventable illness is a good idea, don't ya think?! I have to stay well for my children's sake!
Thanks again for praying for us... it is the most powerful thing you can do for us! Perhaps the only thing you can do... the most important... and, that is really what we need more than anything.

BREAKING NEWS

Ron just received word that it appears they have enough cells for his transplant. He has an appointment with his oncologist this afternoon and we'll see when his PET is... I am not sure where and when things will go from there.
This is scary business, and I am not entirely sure it is the best thing to do... but, the oncologists think it is the only way to cure him... but, the risks are HUGE!!! The mortality rate is frightening and the side effects are scary... pray for wisdom, dear friends!!!
The tension here is high... life is in the balance.
Please, pray... Ron is doing so well right now... by that, I mean he is working full-time, and doing lots of stuff... even with some neuropathy... seems strange to think of putting him through this when he is so active. Can't say it thrills him to think of being tortured again.
As you might know, bone marrow tranplants/stem-cell transplants often come right after a patient is given the chemo of chemos! This time the chemo won't be maybe as strong as the last time, but the point will be to actually KILL HIS IMMUNE SYSTEM... really, that is what the goal is... they have to, in order for the body not be attacked or to attack the new incoming cells. You can see why this is a very dangerous this to do... any sickness, and Ron could be in big trouble with not having an immune system. I do encourage visitors so Ron doesn't feel abandoned, but if you have a cold or any symptoms of an illness, please just send a card or balloons... no plants and there are certain food restrictions. There is a chance that you could show up and you will not be able to see him because he is too sick or asleep, and no children are allowed in that area. You have to wash your hands alot. Be prepared that he will not look like the Ron you know. You may be asked to wear a mask and other coverings. Just don't hesitate in letting him know you care. He LOVES cards! He has been saving your cards!!!
Like I said, I don't know when this will take place, but it sounds like they have the cells... should find out more after this oncologist appointment.

Chemotherapy side-effects

While I have known about vomiting, diarrhea, constipation, weight loss, terrible mouth sores, weakness, fatigue, anemia, neutropenia, thrombocytopenia, nausua, hair loss, and all... which Ron has not suffered some of these things too badly except when he had that high-dose chemo treatment... I was taken by surprise in this one side-effect (even though we had received literature about it), and was trying to dismiss it as " just Athlete's Foot"... nice of me, huh, to dismiss what the doctor's tried to tell him... nope, it is much more obvious now... he apparently has CIPP... chemotherapy induced peripheral neuropathy... hope it isn't permanent, cause it sure is causing his feet some real pain! He said he could barely finish work today... he is walking like his feet are raw, but I don't see any real sores... poor guy... he is convinced it will ware off soon, since he just had the last of these chemo treatments that he has been on (guess that they can't give him anymore of this kind). He's a tough guy, but to have "pins and needles" feelings strongly in your feet can be pretty tough! He felt kind-of rough today, so I gave him his Neupogen shot (he thought his white blood count was low)... and, maybe he will feel better tomorrow, but I don't know about those feet.
If you cannot find a run-on sentence in this post, you need to go back and take English 101... it is 11:30pm, so please forgive my increase in grammatical errors.
GOOD NEWS
My dad was back in the hospital again, and had another heart cath, and it came back good this time.
My friend who was sick, seems to be getting well, and hopefully she will be all well soon.
The scary phone call I received a couple of weeks ago seems to have been reversed to a VERY happy note.
My sister and I have been able to have late night chats online and it has been just plain fun!
My daughter,Faith, is doing FANTASTIC in her kindergarten work.
Charity did several somersots by herself today (not sure if that is good... I hope she doesn't hurt herself)
Hope has been enjoying school devotions greatly, because she loves to "sing."
I have been loosing weight... hurry!!! I MAY have lost as much as 8 lbs recently... I have about 51 yet to go... but, I am experiencing excitement here! I will tell you that this weight loss business is tough! I have to exercise ALOT! I can't eat much at all either, unless it is something like celery, tomatoes, or another low calorie veggie or fruit... with which, I feel okay in splurging... but, it is worth it... I can already feel the difference! I am excited, yet nervous, as I step on the scales these days! I got at least one thing I wanted for my birthday... an accountability partner who is also aiming to loose weight. And, then, what Ron bought me for my birthday is definitely helping me to reach this goal, too... Thanks, Ron!
By the way, if anyone out there has had neuropathy of the feet and would like to tell me about something that made their feet feel more comfortable, I would love to hear about it.
I have been a little bit into a book my sis-n-law gave me called "The Hallelujah Diet"... I tried to cut caffeine cold-turkey... ohhhh, that was bad!!! What a headache and sickness! I think I am going to take it slow. Got some food for thought from the book, though... pardon the pun!
Well, that is all for tonight!
Goodnight

In our weakness...He is strong

Perhaps Ron overdid it last week... maybe it's just a side effect of the chemo... maybe he just needs more nutritious meals... maybe he needs more sleep... his counts are a little low, but not where he needs a transfusion, but he has been complaining of weakness... for a few days now... he actually didn't feel like going to church yesterday... but, he went, of course. He seems unusually weak... woke up in the night mumbling something about feeling like he could go to sleep and not ever wake up again! AAAAUGH! But, of course, he was up and at it early this morning with devotions, reading the paper, and getting ready for work. Weakness didn't stop him from going on... but, something seems strange... not sure exactly what is happening. He has chemo again tomorrow, and maybe we'll find out when his next PET scan is.

Faith is doing great in school! She is flying through her work. Doing well with piano, too. Sooo happy for her. We've already had field trips... visiting GBS and we also went to the Air Force Musuem Saturday... Ron went with us... though he didn't feel right... that nagging weakness, unexplainable feeling in his face, and fatigue. Please, pray for him!

Charity has become rather artistic these days... Her art looks a little like this new style of art... very different... Faith's drawings are of people, houses, flowers, animals, stuff like that... concrete... Charity has been doing some sort of abstract drawings. Hope just likes to scribble on anything and everything nearby... herself included! I suspect Charity had help with the above picture... she sat with someone else in church, so maybe they drew it and she colored it.

I am doing fine! My leg is asleep right now, and that is very uncomfortable... guess I better get up and moving!

Hope you enjoy the recent pictures!

Feeling adventurous

When I say "adventurous" you might think I did one of my old before-I-was-married-and-had-children stunts... like flying off to New Mexico to live with people I didn't even know, or walking to GBS from Cincinnati State up Liberty Street alone (that was crazy!), or allowing myself to float down a river to look like I needed help during a canoe trip with GBS (I was not in the canoe!) just so the GBS boys would come and rescue me (weird, I know!), or finding a new crush during my first mission's trip (to Taiwan)... that crush was RON! and riding on mopeds with Asian people I didn't even know. I say an adventure yesterday was driving over an hour... perhaps a couple of hours... to somewhere to visit people who didn't even know I was coming and my husband didn't know I was going. I surprised a few folk at GBS... then, I drive more, and totally surprised one of my best friend in the world, who is also my sister-in-law, Rebecca! I had not been to their home for over a year, and the last time I saw her was at a family reunion nearly a year ago! We talk often on the phone, but rarely get to see each other. Wes, my brother, wasn't home, so we just let our many children scream and play and enjoy each other! She served us supper, we did back rubs, she served me yummy coffee (It was awesome!), and really had a blast!!! She was so surprised that when she answered the door she was speachless for a few seconds! It was soooo worth the trip! Even if I did get lost going there. Ron was busy last evening, so I knew he wouldn't be home for supper anyway, so I was good there. He actually seemed okay with my taking off like that! He is a good hubby! He knows that is very rare of me, and he knows I am not going to end up in California or something.
Anyway, it has been a wild week! House cleaning yesterday morning, then Faith's piano lession, then off to the Cinci area. Faith has started kindergarten, we did the tent thing, Ron has been working, and working, and working, and doing ministry... some days I hardly see him!, and it has just been a busy week... I am thinking a trip to the Wright Pat Airforce Museum is another adventure I might try soon (it is REALLY close to my house!), and I know the girls would love it! I know, because they point over there often when we drive by.
I got up early this morning and wrote Ron a love letter and had devotions with him (went back to bed when he left for work), and I have been realizing more what a great guy I have been given to be a help meet to... Thank You, Jesus! He is top notch! A real man! There is noone like Ron Cook! Just ask around! His style of ministering, preaching, fathering, working, and everything is just unique! He is outspoken and confident, but reliable, gentle, faithful, and giving. He is strong, and he knows it... I think he likes to show off for me! (Perhaps it stems from his 4th in the State wrestling days and football training... he just doesn't give up!) I am so glad he is still going strong... cancer or no cancer! That is my man, and I am proud of him.
Just thought I would brag for a moment since it's my blog and I can do that!
Alright, I had better get busy! Have a good one!

Updates

Ron had chemo yesterday. He is supposed to have 1 more, then a PET scan... see if things still look good. He returned to his regular job today, since the schools will soon begin.

Faith started kindergarten Monday. She has reading, writing, arithmatic, piano, social studies, character building, Scripture memorization, Home Ec (mommy's version), etc. We recently discussed fire safety... read some books, etc., and playground safety (a DVD), and I am excited about what she is learning. She is even trying to learn some new activities (guess you could call it PE) such as jump roping... she has a way to go to master them, but she is pretty determined on the jump rope thing. Funny thing is that, Charity is learning right along beside her... just ask her to sing the vowel song... she can tell you their short vowel sounds and she is learning the Scriptures, too... pretty proud of that three year old! Hope is, well, she has mastered how to make messes in record timing! She climbs, she wrecks, she pulls curtains off the wall, she is dangerous, she is very noisey, and she is so cute... but, my house is not!

I did something fun last night with my girls. I put a tent up outside our home and we stayed in it for maybe a couple of hours, till Faithy wanted to go in the house to be with her daddy. We had a lot of fun, though, singing songs, telling stories, looking for stars (the tent can be seen through at the top), and listening to that bug light kill some serious amounts of insects last night! Ask Charity, she was so happy about all the fun she had.

I have been reading this book about this man who had ALS, and their family's struggle. Unfortunately, this family was strongly atheistic and the language in the book is very foul! So, I do not recommend the book to just anyone. But, I learned some things. I learned how utterly angry a hurting family can become at people who seemingly abandoned them after their father (who was a physician) discovered that he had ALS. It was sad, especially since they did not believe in God, and were even blasphemous. I thought, what hopelessness! I mean, yeah, the guy kept working and researching and had a brilliant mind, but for what?! Temporary living! But, I could symphathize a little with some of their pain. It is a terrible disease! It was sad reading how quickly he had deteriated. He worked hard to slow the process. Swam alot. But, the sad part was their sense of being put in an "outside" catagory, abandoned by those frightened by the terror of the disease. People who didn't know how to express themselves or how to support... perhaps, they didn't even want to support, didn't want to be bothered with this crippling paralosis. I compared our situation with theirs... though the diseases are very different. I found that especially at the beginning, that folks (especially Christians) were highly supportive! We had cards, notes, phone calls, meals, and even gifts... although, I did have some friends who seemingly fell through the cracks... they neither call, nor write, and definitely not visit, and rarely ever ask, except in passing (as a curtousy, I suppose) how we are doing... if I want them to know, I must go out of my way to tell them... I feel like a burden to be borne. Overall, though, I felt love and compassion! Except in the visiting area... guess people are just so busy. You know why I felt love and compassion from so many, many, many people?! It was because of Jesus! Faith is what linked us to so many other hearts! People pray for us! Some of them pray for us every day! Incredible! The one most important part of life this family I read about had rejected. How sad!

I have been having nightmares. Seems so real. Stress has a way of doing that sometimes. I just keep wondering... keep praying... it is always there, will Ron be okay, will he be healed or cured... but, we are not a family full of hopelessness. We have Jesus, and we TRUST Him... it is up to Him. He knows best! I am frightened by grief... I have had a taste of it, and it is a bitter taste, hard to swallow, and I wonder if it would choke me.

Well, responsibility calls, so I need to go! Got a diaper to change, a meal to prepare, baths to give, school to teach, dishes to wash, laundry to do, floors to vacuum, and I hope to have it all done in 3 1/2 hours, so Ron can have an orderly home when he gets back from work. Whew! Here goes super-woman!

Conquering depression

Let's have a talk, what do you say?

There is an ugly word that many people do not want to admit happens to good, strong Christian folks. It is spelled D-E-P-R-E-S-S-I-O-N.

I am an expert, I think... No, I do not have a counsellor's license, but I have hands-on experience.

Let's talk about it... the Sarah's version!

What are some signs of depression?

Lack of appetite or binging, fatigue or insomnia, lack of interest in usually enjoyable activities, withdrawal, a sense of hopelessness or lack of direction, lack of care of oneself, mood swings, weepiness, etc. These are a few of my not so favorite things.

What could cause it?

Well, there are many things that could cause a person to suffer through depression. Depression may be acute or chronic. Severe or mild.
Maybe a loved one's death, a loss of a job, financial struggles, sickness of a loved one or yourself, abuse (physical, verbal, sexual, etc.), neglect, hormonal imbalances, your health (physically, emotionally, socially, mentally, or spiritually), your relationship with God, guilt, divorce (yours or your parents), disappointment (promises broken, failures in academics, etc,), lack of genuine friendships, etc.

What can one do to heal?

Well, let me share with you some things that I have found very helpful.
1. Don't hide in your pain and dark secrets. If you have some hurt that is causing you depression, you need to talk to someone about it. You need to find a friend or counsellor who is trustworthy and supportive and willing to really listen to talk with. Tell them about your secret or pain... ask them to pray with you, and by all means, don't expect them to be God... they cannot take away your pain, but talking about it is very helpful... especially if you have suicidal tendencies. If your thoughts dwell here, get help quickly!

2. Make sure your relationship with God is clear. Have you willfully sinned? Repent. Are you avoiding daily devotional time with Jesus... you better quickly get back to spending time with Him... You see, there is real help for you in His Word and through prayer... promises... beautiful promises! There are those in the Bible who struggled for one reason or another with depression, and you can learn a lot from them. Are you obeying something God has asked you to do? Just do it!

3. When was the last time you had a good physical exam? Are you sick? Are you eating right? Are you overweight? Are you getting enough sleep? Are you exercising? I will tell you... a good workout is amazing in getting the endorphins going? When was the last time you were with friends or family who made you laugh? Do you laugh at yourself? Laughter is VERY good! I have felt much, much better after some good exercise, and my moods can be affected by the type of food I eat... maybe you could check out what foods you have been eating and if you feel better with a change.

4. Have you been procrastinating something that you know needs done? Think how good you would feel about yourself if you got that job done!

5. Are you living for this world or for eternity? Want purpose? Do something today that could make a difference in eternity... witness to someone, offer a meal to a homeless person, call someone who hasn't been to church for a while and see what is going on, teach your children a timeless lesson, hand out some tracts in love, spend some time praying for someone besides yourself, drive by that troubled teenagers home and tell them that you care about them and are praying for them, write a get-well note to someone whose sick, meet a promise you made to someone, hug and hold and kiss your children, tell your parents you love and honor and respect them, give your hubby something to look forward to when he gets home, pay a visit to a local nursing home, visit that cousin of yours in jail, look past your pain and see the hurt in others and do to them what you would want done to you in that circumstance.... say "I am sorry" to someone you've hurt.

6. Make a list of 100 things you have to be thankful for. (Thanks, Sonja, for this tip!) Very healthy! There is so much to be thankful for... even if everything around you is looking bleak.

7. Forgive!!! You cannot get well if you are holding bitterness.

8. Don't isolate yourself... get with friends occasionally, get outside and into the sun!

9. Keep your surroundings orderly, yet enjoyable... don't make a big deal out of something trivial.

10. Eat a healthy meal tonight, take a nice hot bubble bath, and get a good 9 hours of sleep tonight, and most likely, you will feel better in the morning. (Night time often is a time the devil likes to make tired people feel hopeless... a night's rest will often do the trick!)

I have experienced several of the things that would cause one to have a depression problem... but, I if I don't let it go... I will be a most miserable woman. I know, I have been there! I am still learning. My new thing is exercise, and it has been incredible! Highly recommend it... sweating and increased heart rate is required... just think, you can burn calories and lift your mood and help yourself sleep better tonight... could be fun if you got your family involved... could make it a game, if you'd like. I personally have been using it as a time to be away and get a "break."

For what it is worth, this has been tips by Sarah :-)

Prep week for school

This week I am trying to get some big jobs done, because I would like to start Faith's kindergarten work. Thanks to my friend, Amy S, I now have a good start on the biggest job on the list... that pile in my room! Yes, that pile is still there, but now it is considerably shrunken. Although Amy may always think of me as being a slob now, I am very thankful for her help.... Thanks, Amy! I worked on it some more today, and hope that it will be non-existant by Saturday night... and, to have the girls' room organized! Whew, that would be awesome!
My thyroid blood test came back normal again... that's good, I guess.
The children are all healthy and doing well... I have been working today on some attitude issues.
Dear friends, I want you to know that God has been showering Scriptures on me. Some encouraging and uplifting and some are convicting, but always just what I need!
Let me share some of them with you.
One day, I was particularly concerned about my mental/emotional statis... really. You see, I have been a little overstressed... hmmm... my dad was in the hospital again and had to have another heart cath and a couple of more stints, one of my best friends is ill and it could be very serious, and I got a scary phone call Sunday about another friend. I always have Ron's situation running through my mind, and I have been feeling isolated... when I do talk to friends, I tend to talk way too much. I can suck the life out of a friend by all of my endless chatter. I have these handy panic attacks that is very frightening... could be a little too much caffeine, too. Anyway, I thought that maybe I was loosing my mind... it doesn't help to listen to the news of all the terrible things going on around the world. Will I ever recover?
I opened my Bible, and there it was... just what I needed!
Psalm 43
The whole chapter was great, but check out that last verse!
"Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God."
Beautiful!
In thought of my laziness and yucky attitude lately, I opened my Bible last night, and there was that Proverbs 31! Whew... it is a chapter stuffed full of rich teachings of a virtuous woman! Certainly not lazy, and that part about her mouth... whew! RICH and convicting!
Another day, it was that Phillipians 4. Wow... do you know the Bible teaches that you should be a person known for being self-controlled? Hmmm... when people think of me, do they think... ahhh, that Sarah is self-controlled, she knows when to stop, she knows when to go... she has her body under subjection? Wow, then that part about rejoicing all the time, and thinking true and pure and lovely thoughts... whew! And, being content! Ouch! Ahhh, and the beautiful verse reminding us that God will supply all of our needs... he is rich! Awesome!
It has been on my heart for a long time, the need to fast and pray, but I can't seems to get my desires under subjection. I also am a quitter... it gets tough, and I want to run away! That is why my room was so messy, why I haven't done my best with being consistant with the children, and why I don't go the extra mile to "do... good" to my husband... I mean, I know it would bless him if I got up earlier every morning and pack a yummy lunch and put a sweet note inside, have devotions with him, and keep the house clean and the children happy and well cared for... but, it takes alot of work, and I have been just plain lazy. It would mean so much to him if I took better care of my weight issue... but, that takes work and careful self-control.
The other day, I was moping around, questing God why He didn't do this or that, and the thought came to me that "Now Sarah knows what it is like when someone doesn't keep their end of the promise... SARAH hasn't been faithful to her tasks and promises!" God, of course, keeps His promises, but I haven't been doing my part. Sigh.
Am I wanting the benefits of Christ without the responsibilities of being Christ's? Is it all about me? It is supposed to be all about Christ.
Have I become a baby needing nursed all over again? I can't say that I understand everything that has happened in my life... why at every turn, it seems something painful has occured, but I do know that this is not our home, and soon, very soon, we shall all be in our eternal homes... reminding me that I need to live for eternity... Forever with Jesus... our hope and our joy!
Lord, help me to live what You have taught me! Help me not to just stirred, but let me be changed!

Until next time... we press on!